Dreading

Dreading to fall asleep again, wondering what the goddamned jesuit-allied aliens (I think they may be some faction of Sirians) will do to me during abduction this time. I can't fight it. After a day of non-functioning misery and illness, I am drugged on the familiar alien/Illuminati cocktail of hypnotics and sedatives to make me sleep, so they can abduct and torture at will. I am so sick of waking up in a body that no longer belongs to me, while these fucking pigs try to force me into their version of who I should be. I don't give a fuck what any of you assholes think. I don't care if you believe I'm some great spiritual teacher who has to incarnate as a female to carry out what you stupidasses think is my mission. I DIDN'T incarnate as a female. I am not a female in my deepest identity and never will be. I incarnated as a hermaphrodite, and that is my self-identity, battered and tortured to death, as it is. Still, I affirm that identity, and I choose the path that I recognize God laid out for me, and it sure doesn't involve getting abducted and mutilated by lasers every nite, while a bunch of dickdead celibates fuck me in my mind, because they gave up their own humanity, manhood, and sexuality decades ago. You think you are so spiritually evolved. Well, let me throw back the spiritual laws you are supposed to profess. I claim the right to free will and self-determination, and I don't want any more abductions, any more bodily mutilations, any more injections into my brain, unless I CONSENT, and I don't know who the fuck is hovering over my home abducting me BUT I DO NOT CONSENT. As stated previously, the only aliens I want any contact with are the Pleidians--the rest of you go recruit from the Illuminati--leave people of the Spirit, like me, ALONE.