Worse and worser

Worse and worser--that is how I feel--on every level, and how I regard my situation and prospects. I have been trying to write about my dream from a few nights ago, but my health has been so bad that I'm barely functional, and it's getting worse and worser. Once again the left side of my face and head are pummelled by nano injections during nightly abductions. I'm especially worried about my left ear, which is now completely clogged. I don't think there is an infection, but how longer can my ear bear that kind of fluid pressure before I suffer permanent damage? I'm too sick to get up to shower, in order to see the doctor. If it is still clogged next week, I will bite the bullet. As it is, I am suffering from pain caused by excessive fluidic pressure on the nerves in my face which is grotesquely swollen. The upper left of my face--cheekbones, sinus area, and temple--is completely numb. Then there is the tenderness and pain in my head... It feels as though I have cacti spines stuck in my temporal lobe, and a little bit above the temporal lobe. For those who have never lived in the southwest, the most painful cacti spines are deceptively micromillimetered, flexible hair-like fibers, but even though they are hard to see, you sure can tell when you got one stuck in you. Just rub your finger over your skin, and you can find the impaling offender--it is a very tender, irritating, and fiery pain--that is what the whole left side of my head feels like. In addition, the whole left side is numb, feverishly hot, with blood pounding, from my face, wrapping all the way around to my parietal lobe. I guess this increased blood (it does not correspond with the blood pulse on my right temple) is necessary for the virus to infect the targeted cells in my temporal lobe. This is not surprising, for I was abducted by the followers of the luciferian Borg last night. It is hard to figure out who exactly is responsible, for the Borg are a constantly evolving, non-monolithic force, who "assimilates" all species and classifications of beings. This is why it is so difficult to authenticate the alien "good guys" from the alien "bad guys", for yes, some of the aliens have been "assimilated", and the list is constantly changing. However, right now I am more worried about the human element that is sold out to the Borg. These are the military and intelligence community traitors that, among other things, bomb our skies with chemtrails that contain the virus so that we grow the FIBERS (remember what I said about cacti spines being in my head--it is computer nano-fibers that the virus creates and nurtures). They are moving into the end-game phase, and while the US patriot leadership team, with help from our alien allies, notably the Pleiadians, have successfully staved off multiple attemtpts at catastophe level terrorist attacks, I sense another "event" coming soon. How soon? Maybe this month. Maybe they will attempt to crash the stock market again, as happened in 2008. Maybe they will release disclosure files spilling a lot of hidden "secrets" EXCEPT that they plan to carefully and fraudulently edit and control what they "release", serving their agenda. I especially worry that they will attempt to smear and destroy "the good guys" as part of the planned "disclosure." I feel that there is another evil force/person lurking just beyond my understanding, but it is so hard to think clearly when I am as sick as I have been all week.

Anyway, getting back to the luciferians that are impacting my life, as I said, I suspect that they are active (and some high ranking) military and intelligence operatives, freemason/knights of whatever types, but they are not necessarily Nazi. They actually may have been trying to purge Nazis from their ranks, but still there are mind control perps out there, capable of abducting, and when they are successful, as they were last night, I suffer terribly. Even if they were not abusing me, I would not support this faction either, for while they may not be traditional style Nazis, they still are HATEFULLY racist. For a while, I tried to figure out why they were racist, because I actually saw some of their rank and file on the bicycle trail. They were "love bombing" me, and while it felt good to have people smile at me, instead of scowling at me or giving me hate stares, the truth is that as an autistic and and as a Christian, I really don't base my feelings or values towards others, as a consequence of their feelings toward me (though they can influence my behavior...when someone smiles at me, I feel like a heel if I don't smile back). Ultimately though, I am as impervious to "love bombing" as I am to hate stares, though certainly I prefer the smiles and warmth. So, for a while, I was fooled, as I saw this faction's love and warmth and not their hate. I still haven't seen with my own eyes their racial hatred, but I can infer it is there, because only a stone cold hater could conspire to sell out their own brothers and sisters of color to save their own lives. They have made a deal with the luciferian Borg to deliver up the people of color to be brain implanted and mind controlled into the collective Borg central computer in exchange for a life of relative freedom as the "capo" controllers.

A radical, non-linear understanding of time plays into my understanding of our situation, for even though I confess that I can't fully understand it, I think it very likely that we have already been visited by the future offspring of the sold out, 94% people of color, of one possible timeline. (Another more reasonable, alternative option is that they are the HISTORICALLY sold out human siblings and victims of the first fall of Atlantis--and we are catching the negative karmic rebound). These visitors from our future are the Greys, a dying race with degraded bodies. Knowing what I now know of their history and situation, I feel deep compassion for the majority of them (though some--Nome Alaska--are just starkly evil). I think the implants and hive mind have caused them to lose their ability "to feel", at least with the reasonance and responsiveness that we contemporary humans feel. Reflecting on some images that I recall from both video and written word I think that they are indeed capable of feeling--just not at the deeply empathetic level of a healthy human. For certain, I know that they do have a spiritual capacity, and I base that on the testimony of Dan Burisch, a whistleblowing research biologist who worked at Area 51, with the Grey captive known as J-Rod. J-Rod, like his brothers and sisters, had a terminal neurological disorder that Burisch was attempting to treat and cure. I have read Burisch before, but it is difficult for a lay person like me to really comprehend his writing because he relates his truly incredible experiences by spinning off into advanced physics and biology, subjects in which I get bogged down fast. But more exposure to, and familiarity with the concepts, as well as a more clearly written discourse (http://www.angelfire.com/pe/peter7/Links/BurischBillH.TranscriptSept02.html), have confirmed what I have suspected ever since I dreamed of a praying Grey. Their spiritual capacity may have been severely damaged by the Borg collective, but the Greys still are spiritual beings. J-Rod's life is testament to this. He and his (killed on impact) comrades sacrificed themselves to come back to Earth (1947 Roswell) in order to "get our help" in repairing their damaged spiritual and biological life. Beings with no feelings do not risk and sacrifice their lives in an attempt to save their race. J-Rod not only lost his comrades--he spent the rest of his life doing "hard time" in captivity at Area 51, as Burisch was an exception, in that inhumane, brutal, sterile and lonely environment.

What did the Borg do to damage the spiritual capacity of the Greys? Guess what? This is the exact same question that I am trying to answer for myself...what are the Borg doing to me to damage my spiritual capacity? I'm not able to offer a sophisticated, definitve analysis, though Burisch tries in the above post, but in my poor mental condition, I have difficulty understanding. Still, since I am a victim of the Borg, I can offer some tentative, experiential first stabs at the topic. Last night (in relation to the abduction), I dreamed of a Comcast van by an elongated electrical switch box that I knew represented my spine. In the electrical box was a long row of ethernet ports, and I knew that those ports represented my nervous system waiting to be cable connected into the central computer. I have a lot of the Borg "hardware" already wired into my brain. The technical name for the condition (at least those whose body actively resist it) is Morgellons. My body does not suffer from the most obnoxious of Morgellon symptomology, but I do suffer from it. That is why I suffer from muscle spasms, constant headaches, have difficulty walking, exercising, or on bad days, even functioning. The nano virus is literally making me sick, and has for years. Some days, such as this week, are worse than others. The level of suffering depends on the viral dosage (and they can control it by the implants and by injections up my nose and directly into my brain during the nightly astral abductions of my etheric body), and on whatever hormones or psychotropic drugs they add to the nano cocktail. For the luciferian Borg minions are very unhappy with my response, so they make constant modifications in hopes of a better result. For they know that I have an autistic brain, and therefore should be a natural fit for the computer plugin; they also know that my brain has been absolutely ravaged by years of the virus. Still I remain resistant, for I know that the luciferian Borg model is the antithesis of the human, of the Good, of the holy.

Even as I write this, I am suffering from the amped up viral download again, so I will have to cut this post short and finish it later, for I cannot think rationally when I am like this. However, I just had a bombshell revelation about the dream from last night. I had thought that the Comcast van referred, in a general sense, to the visual and audio media that is priming the brains of humans for the computer plug in. But now, I don't think so. After reading a recent post by Rayelan Allan, I think it is much more insidious and devastating than that. Rayelan, whose enterprising web site is one of the most reliable and well-informed news site on the web (if you know how to think critically, which admittedly most people don't, anymore), wrote of a fake garbage truck picking up her trash, and issued a warning to all her readers. That warning immediately triggered a memory, from Tuesday, I think, of a Comcast van in our parking lot, parked in an odd manner, as if to block from view the work that was being done. Even at the time, I thought it was odd, because it was late in the evening--nearly 7 pm (it gets dark at 5 pm). They were working outside, after hours, in the dark (Comcast techs dont do that)! I saw TWO technicians, which is rare, unless they are working on a service outage, but I had no outage. Finally, they were there for a long time--over a half hour or maybe even over an hour (I came out twice and saw them). As a matter of fact, my suspicions were aroused, so that I almost went out and talked to them, but decided against it, because I figured if they were doing anything shady, I couldn't do anything to stop them anyway. Just now, I went outside, and saw a shiny new contraption hanging from the wires. I WONDER IF THOSE TECHS INSTALLED A NEW EM DEVICE TO BETTER ASTRALLY ABDUCT ME. I wonder if they did the same thing near Rayelan's home (RV). I turned on to her radio show this afternoon, and noticed that she sounded really off and downbeat, whereas she normally is cheery and bright. What if this conspiring faction is trying to dull all the people who pose an intuitive threat to their upcoming plans?...WOW, this chit never ends, but for now this post has to end. The brain can't think anymore. I will pick up tomorrow.