Alert: dream

Alert: dream that I don't have enough information to interpret. As is clear to me from watching recent hearings on the Hill, there are alien presences now intimately involved with our governement. I can't be sure, but I think some of them are acting as allies (thank God), and some may be prisoners of war. If they are the latter, they may be some kind of alien race captured in the takedown of the earthquake machine, which I certainly hoped happened, since there have been no more earthquakes since New Zealand. Anyway, earlier in the afternoon, once again, the viral download started, and made me freezing cold and feeling very ill. So I got into bed, very painfully, as the muscles are locked, and my joints are in danger of blowing out on me from all the fluid on them--most worrisomely, my knees. I was trying to listen to CNN news, but it wasn't long before I went to sleep (daytime naps for me are rare, and always leave me waking up feeling yucky).

I dreamed that I worked in a prison again--as a CO/counselor, and in the northwest corner of a separate building than that in which I was immediately present, I knew there resided, or were incarcerated, one or two young Black inmates who were going to do something bad. The room in which they were, was the most upper storey room, and I remember thinking that it was a nice backdrop for a prison, for there were trees in bud (but not leafed) outside his/their upper window. I didn't know for sure what was going (or maybe I did but I don't remember), but it was either that he/they were going to try to settle scores with another segment of the population, by acting out violently against others enmasse and/or they were going to set off bombs--something about a school bus maybe? Anyway, I went to talk to the other CO's/counselors in the building, because although officially I didn't work there, everybody knew me from before, and I sorta worked unofficially there. I especially remember seeing "Dawn", a co-worker from before, who was one of the few I could count on to take care of busines. When the seniors weren't present, she often acted as the leading staff. She was a half Black/half White woman, and whenever I told her of my intuitive suspicions, she would always take them seriously, and put me in the most dangerous and point-reactive posts. I didn't mind being her putting me on point--it seems my nature to court danger--because I always felt supported and respected by her (which wasn't the case with easily half of my senior bosses and co-workers--who were happy to put me on point, but who neither respected nor supported me). Sadly the worst offendors were Black seniors--who seemed uncomfortable with both their own objective exercise of authority, and my own strong and, yes LESBIAN personality, whereas the Hispanic and White seniors, often with military background, understood the objective (not personal) nature of authority, and would treat, support, protect, and yes, USE me as a valued member of their team. Dawn self-identified as Black (though her co-workers did not regard her as fully Black--I know; I listened in on their quite racist, really, conversations regarding her when she wasn't present), but I didn't care what her race was--she took care of business when she posted as senior staff and I could trust her. So I walked up to her and told her something was going to go down, so the staff started clearing out the administration building of wards (which was like a typical prison population, mixed races, but mostly minorities). I remember that I was going to lead a movement out of the building myself (though I had no radio, mace nor official standing). The group of young, powerfully buff men wanted to ride roughshod over me, on the heels of the prior movement of inmates, but I, with my experience and sense of authority, stood my ground, "no, no, no, no--we are going to give them a nice head start," because I knew that is how nasty gang and race riots start--too many enemies who are planning to fight, get into close quarters, with staff outnumbered. Then the dream kind of segued into me sitting in a car with someone and there was something about a school bus. Another possibly important factor about this dream is that the troublemaker in the northwest window that I was worried about was a "Piru Blood". The Bloods were a minority even in the L.A. gangs (the various sects of the Crips were the "Big Dogs"). However, the Pirus gave us YA staff real problems and headaches, because they had an incredible, fearless leader, who was always scheming to riot and fight (against the Black Crips, not against Whites or Hispanics). He was about 6'8" tall and had no problem leading the charge (he was a Black man who knew how to exercise authority--sadly, in the negative way). I had good rapport with him, because (I know most people won't understand this), I knew that he had a good human soul underneath all the pain and trauma--he murdered his first man when he was 12, but I knew I couldn't trust him for a second EVER, not to cause major mischief and damage.

Int 1: This is a purely personal dream, and all the symbology refers to my personal trials and tribulations and has to do with my feelings of imprisonment and shadow side, etc.

Int. 2: Being American, I always wonder about my country first and foremost, and in the dream, it was clear that the troublemakers were from the northwest corner (of the country?) and it was clear to me that the trees were budding, so maybe this refers to a real time and place act of terrorism. Northwest.

Int. 3: I often dream of prison, which is not surprising, given my truly incarcerated and unfree state, but this dream was different. There were a lot of specifics about race and gangs, which makes me wonder if my subconscious is trying to tell me that something is going to go down in the alien factions which are impacting our world, but the specific knowledge of which is beyond my conscious understanding. Piru Bloods color is red---could this refer to the watchers? Perhaps one faction of aliens that is now in alliance with us is planning to enact vengeance on another faction?....Or maybe, this has to do with tensions and/or possible betrayal by a faction within our own alliance. I don't know. I don't have enough information to know. I got a lot of people interested in picking my brain, while they do and care nothing about the destruction of my body. Very demoralizing. My brother told me the other day he appreciated my intelligence. I felt like I was in high school again, where my nickname was "Brain", but my life was miserable, for being human is so much more than being a brain, and just as in my teenage years in a patriarchal, dysfunctional family, I am denied my own life to fully live and love, while I am sucked dry of all vitality. Now I can't even walk, for my knees are crippled by the fluid.


Int.4: Is there the possibility of rebellion within the Good Guy's alliance. The Piru leader was basically a good human, but deeply psychologically wounded, which compelled in him a need for dominance over others, in order to feel good about himself. This could either refer to the Black racial faction(as they literally were in the dream) or the White racial faction, for the gang colors of the "Bloods" is red, and so is the color of Samjaza's descendants, whether they are evil Nazi Watchers or just ordinary Celt-descended.

I don't really know, but I throw this out there, for people who have more knowledge of what is going on than I...