Chemical smell

Chemical smell of my urine is so acrid it burns the nose--I don't know what the fuck the assholes are giving me now. I just know that I am so depressed I don't want to deal with it. I lay in bed and wish for death. I try to be mentally responsive (my body is fucking destroyed forever, but what is left of the freak carcdass still houses a brain), but too goddamned sick to care. Just wish i could be healthy enough to work out, so I could build muscle so I dont cringe every time I touch this fat, muscle-less, jello-squeamish body. don't kknow if that will ever happen. too drugged to read. need to go back to bed.