I found out why my shoulders are in such pain

I found out why my shoulders are in such pain--I have been cut on again, this time, leaving me with a shortened, deformed-looking pinky finger on my chording hand. I guess it doesn't matter, as I haven't played music since Christmas (whenever I feel healthy enough to do so, I have an enormous to-do list which precludes enjoyable hobbies), and am unlikely to ever have the time and energy to do so again. Still, the pain in my body is constant, from the shoulders painfully popping out of joint to the near constant spasm of my lower back, glutes, and hips. All of this has been caused by the mutilation of my body, as aliens have forced an ungodly bodily change on me. Because they are not human, and have no deep and real connection with their bodies, they have no idea of the psychological and spiritual damage they have caused as I try to adjust to a body that is completely alien and hateful to me. It doesn't help that I am drugged on psychotropics (depakote and something else I think--I recognize the groaning on awakening), which depress me to the point that I don't want to do anything at all. Still, I force myself to follow what is going on. I think I know (and it certainly is not what is presented), and I am okay with that, but I am not free or healthy enough to respond in any kind of manner. All I can do is curl up psychologically and wait to be free of this baneful influence which has destroyed my body, my self-esteem, and my joy of life and appreciation of others. I could comment on some things (are we near disclosure--I sure hope so), but I am going to just suffer my pain, and read and watch TV under this influence--and hope that the pendulum doesn't swing back to evil's way (for the aliens causing my suffering now are not maliciously evil, just very ignorant...ignorant of how spiritual formation and conversion works in a human person--and it starts with authentic self-love, not with an alienated, mutilated body/mind severance.