Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Nonfunctioning day

Nonfunctioning day--so drugged up on something that I can't even do my little mandatory bike ride. Worried sick about everything--Japan, which looks like it is doomed, if not by the earthquake, then by radiation poisoining; the Middle East, where it looks like the Muslim Brotherhood is getting stronger and stronger (and they are pawns created and directed by the evil cabal), and Libya is in a bad and worse situation. If I just felt healthy, then I would have the energy to handle all the negativity I see, but I'm so drugged that I literally can't think straight. There are things i need to do and thoughts I need to pursue, but my brain is like jello, and I find myself reading the same thing over and over, trying to comprehend it. On top of all this, I am in pain. For the past couple of days, my shoulder has been popping in and out of its joint, even though I have not done any exercise or lifting--just massaging the fat ball where once I sported proud, healthy biceps. Never in all my years of sports, exercise, and weight training, has that ever happened. But my body will never be healthy or strong or painfree again, and that is just a reality that I have to get used to. Still, it is hard to deal with the arthritic like pain that courses down my whole left arm. I would take painkillers but I already spent all afternoon sleeping. My house needs cleaning, but that is not going to happen. I am going to go lay down and watch tv, and try to block out the horrible reality that there are some really bad things happening, on a global and personal scale, that I cannot change. Hopefully, tomorrow is a better day. Prayers for everybody on the front lines.

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