Brain rushes all nite

Brain rushes all nite--4:30 in the goddamned mornin. same brain rushes as on lithium. dont think its lithium but its something that got my entire nervous system jolting awak e every couple of minutes. am i drugged or is this just the result of the cranial therapy i am on? they say the back of my head is fucked up. i could have told them that. i hav been teeling them for years that the goddamned drugs (lithium, risperdol, and God knows what else how many times)did permeantent neurological damage. so depressed at realization that my brain is just a trampled field that everone just mucks around in. guess i have a choice--either the nazis invade my brain or the people who are doing it. i wlll never have privact of thought again. i just want to sleep. i just want the brain rushes to stop. already took tyleno. pm. now its on to vodka. worried about my body. accroding to the body workers treating me, my kikneys, liver and pancreas are very stressed. i dont want to take tylenol pm and vodaka, have no choice--otherwise i will never slep. feeling the rage once again, wanting to kick hit, anythierng to be reee of sons of bitches.