First day back not much of one

First day back not much of one--implant downloads are heavy making me want to shake head violently, lay down with eyes shut. so desperate to work out. havent worked out in so long. las t time i did youga couldnt finish. want to try tomorrow but im so weak that i can barely walk from store to car, worse part is the head. so heavy so unable to focus, thin k, read or pray. fat lips curling under as all the swelling balloons and drags down my face. have commonsense. no one can feel healthy or whole or right with this kind of fluid pressure on head or facew. and they wonder why i am pissed off and angry all the time when i am in this ersatz, fake, wanna be contemplative state so the psychops can all access my thoughts. but not real thoughts, ideas. worst tyranny of all is thought control. worst suffering is the kind of autistic migraines im suffering from so some mind reader can access a brain that cant think clearly