Thursday, June 14, 2012

Apparently, my son born yesterday is Asian,

Apparently, my son born yesterday is predominantly Asian and/or Mongoloid in DNA and appearance. I hope that lays to rest any doubts whatsoever about the complete racial inclusiveness of my identity and procreative vocation. True, I am not happy about the recent addition of a yellowish tinge to my skin, but that is because the change was forced on me by Merovingian KaBalists, without my consent. Those same KaBalists are the ones who want to use me for their agenda, and for some reason, (probably Maurice Strong's influence), they identify more with China than the West, and deny me the right to choose my own self-identity and claim my manhood, but rather want me to become the "Eve of a new Mongoloid 'superhuman', psychic race". That will NEVER happen.

First of all, I will not be used by any party, clique, KaBal, or faction that is interested in power mongering over others. Also, I don't feel that my vocation is limited to any national or regional interest, even though I can admit that being American, and raised in a culture of freedom and individuality, has been crucial to my personal development and emerging interdimensional identity. You have got to have a strong, freely chosen and affirmed (not stamped through socio-cultural repression and force of "law), sense of 3D identity, before you can move on to explore and affirm your identity in the interdimensional, 5D realm. China has massive numbers of super psychics, whose gifts they identify, nurture, and increase through rigorous training. However, they still are not on the forefront of the interdimensional world, and that is because their psychics, no matter how gifted, have never developed their own free individuality, and that lack cripples them fundamentally. If the entire world were unfree and repressed through evil authority, China would rule in the psychic world; however as long as the Patriots of the world are able to fight successfully for freedom and democracy, their longstanding authoritarian tradition, now in a "Communist" incarnation, will always weaken the outstanding giftedness of their psychics.

Secondly, as I insist, nearly every day on this blog. I AM NOT AN "EVE". I AM NOT A WOMAN. I don't know why PF can't get any respect as "Eve", when she really is the true mother of all our children. Could it possibly be because she has attained interdimensional status already, and thus has a much greater power over her personhood and gifts than I? Yes the alien, occult KaBal has control over her as well, but nowhere nearly as extensive or handicapping as they have over me. Nothing scares these KaBalist bastards like personal autonomy and power, and more than anything else, they hope to gain complete control over me, before I enter the fullness of an interdimensional identity. So, where are the Patriot interdimensional cliques? Shouldn't they be lined up, begging to come to the rescue and patronage of a gifted apprentice, who can only enhance their stature and prestige, once he comes into his own? Well, the answer is I think, that they have been so dominated by evil for so long, that they fear the strong and powerful good person, as much as they fear the strong and powerful evil forces that have dominated their lives for so long. The other day, I was being vetted by some Sirian clique, the "mountain ram" clique, I think, and as I was riding my bike, there was a gauntlet of young men--say, 6-8, along the bicycle path. Now, I know they were testing me, because the previous day, I had wrote about the sinister intimidation that Amon-RA types pull. Hell, they do it, individually--my neighbor Charles does it, when I refuse to fall for his suave pimp act. These young men were not sinister or intimidating in their very being, as are Amon RA types, but forming a gauntlet of over half a dozen young men, is an intimidating act of circumstance. Yes, I am confident enough to bike through it with a nod of a head, but the truth of this story, is that THEY are not confident enough to relate to me, on my own. Partly, there is sexism involved. I have always had an easier time with married men, than single men, because married men have taken the plunge past their fears and committed to relationship with the feminine, and thus come to realize that, in healthy and free relationship, the feminine has no more power over the masculine, than the masculine has over the feminine. However, single men have not yet forged their masculinity through relationship with the feminine, and thus they fear the strong female.

Now, they are interdimensional beings, and they should recognize that beyond the appearance of a female body, that I have a markedly masculine psyche and self-identity, but their fear is too strong, much stronger than mine, to get past this body, which really isn't mine, AT ALL. Maybe if I still had a hermaphroditic, buff and muscular body of a man, I would be able to get past their fears, but I don't think so. I think the personality of so many hybrids, born and bred as slaves, is just naturally fearful and timid of strong personal power, which is why they fear PF even more than they fear me. However, what they fear in me is potential, because only on occasion, do I exhibit my own personal power. However, one aspect of my power that they can control is my procreative ability, because everybody loves new life, a baby, and they are SO helpless, and so vulnerable to being controlled, and ENSLAVED. No one will accept, that my procreative ability is NOT a "personal" gift--rather, it is a partnership venture, with PF. I cannot produce babies on my own, nor do I want to, and I sure as hell will not allow aliens to create a monster child and place it in the uterus in my body. No, my procreative ability is born of a union of deep and mutual, spiritual love and respect, with my polar opposite, a woman who embodies the feminine principle, as much as I embody the masculine principle. The KaBal can force feed me all the drugs and hormones that it wants, but it cannot change the essential, bedrock, life-long inner identity of myself as MALE.

As a matter of fact, the ONLY way to get me to act productively, whether in making babies or fighting battles in the interdimensional realm, is to pump up my own masculine identity, which after years of being under severe assault by drugs, hormones, and evil mind control, is weaker now, than it was even a few years ago. You know why I make babies with PF? Because sex with her makes me feel like a man--I do not engage in sex with her, feeling like or identifying myself as a woman. I spent years in a lesbian relationship. I know how to make love, female body on female body (both my ex and I manifested the masculine principle--we could never have made babies), but for all our current openness to sexual experimentation, I cannot. It just doesn't feel right or good or natural to even initiate such sex behavior.

Part of the problem may be that the more the KaBal has alienated me from my own body, the more I identify with my Male identity. I have never felt less female or feminine in my entire life. As a matter of fact, I find myself weakly repulsed by the presence of the feminine in the MATRIX setup in which I find myself. It is not that I hate the feminine per se, but rather that I am trying desperately, as a besieged, unsupported, "adolescent" male, to separate myself from the feminine, so that I can LIVE my own life, my own identity. This is not a matter of psychological preference, but rather of psychological necessity. This is not about the presentation of a psyche and personality, but rather a struggle for the life of the very essence of my psyche and personality.

Now, the other thing that makes me feel like a man, or maybe I should say, validates my own inner being and truth, is making the world a safe place for my children. I am not a mother. I am not primarily an emotional and reflective nurturer for my children. My vocation, my purpose, my identity is fulfilled, when I do battle to make the world safer for my wife and children. That is why my most recent son is Asian. He was conceived the day that I took the battle to China. I do not mention every battle that I fight, but China had a really nefarious, sinister plan (one of many), to unleash an army of drones to destroy the Patriot forces--probably by destroying th Patriot facilities in Antartica. The only good thing that comes of being raped by the perverts of Faction 2/3, is that I can see deep into their mind when they do it. So, with that knowledge, I was able to help attack, in the interdimensional realm (of course this was alien, underground technology), the drones, which was why the air near Xian, China was filled with smoke for a couple of days. THAT is how a father shows his love for his children--by making the outside world a safer and more secure place, so that their own small world, presided over by the mother and supportive teachers, is undisturbed. Such masculine success is what feeds and inspires my own sense of self, and thus, my creativity, which is why the same day, PF and I conceived a little Asian boy. I had proved my manhood to myself by making Asia a little safer, and my son was the result of this surging, proud manhood. No manhood, no babies. Period.

Now, I know that Black psychics (some of whom are every bit as racist as Whites) are wondering why I don't produce more Black babies. The answer is simple--generally speaking, the Black community does not support my own manhood (nor honor and protect PF's womanhood), not personally and not in battle. Perhaps if I could fight to make Africa a safer place, things would be different. However, I know that so much of the battle in Africa is not conducive to my style of fighting, which uses remote viewing and interdimensional power. Rather, the fight for Africa, right now, is very much a 3D battle, with lots of foot soldiers and small weapons firepower. I always try to avoid killing sentient life, though there ARE enemy casualties, but rather I aim to destroy equipment and capability, on a grand level. I wish that I could do more for Africa. I want to help in the formation of what I see as a bright future; it is just that my current gifts, limited by my the handicaps forced upon me, by a lack of support for my own manhood, makes it a difficult theater for me in which to operate. African brothers, support my manhood, and you will get more Black babies, as well as a healthier, more prosperous Africa.

Right now, my primary support for manhood is PF, and since she is White, the overwhelming number of my children are White. It is not a healthy situation for a man to have his manhood validated solely by his woman. It DOES work in a remedial sense, and I know this, having worked in a prison, and counseling young men who had been raped (they would never admit it, but of course, everyone knew). The only real way to help them was to give them phone calls to their girlfriends, which I could see restored somewhat their battered and humiliated loss of self-esteem. Rape is more damaging to males than females, precisely because it destroys the sense of manhood, which in a man is so much more fragile than a female's sense of womanhood (sadly though, rape in women has become exacerbated by destroying their youthful beauty, or their reproductive capability, and THAT works to destroy a female's sense of womanhood). This truth is no doubt, why the KaBalists of Faction 2/3 have spent the last couple of years, raping me on a regular basis, in the interdimensional realm--it has all been designed to destroy my manhood, but I know there is no womanhood to replace it. All they can do is make me a crippled man, which to be honest, is their intent anyway. There is not a one of the Faction 2./3 crowd that I have seen that has any sense of manhood, whatsoever. They are all crippled by the serpent being that they have put in their bodies in order to gain occult power.

I do not want to be a crippled man. I want to be a strong, free and healthy man. Such is not possible right now in my current circumstance. I am not free to be me, and I am dependent on my woman as my sole support. I do not resent this, or blame her. I know I would be dead, both literally and figuratively, without her. However such an arrangement puts psychological stress and pressure on me AND us. Last night, I was pretty drugged up, not to mention that i had some KaBalist creep invading my personal body, without my consent, so I went to do meditation before going to sleep. It made me drowsy, so that I went to lay down on the living room floor, in which I lift my legs up on the sofa, to help ease my lower back. Now normally, this would not be an issue for me at all. There is an "X" pose in yoga, which I used to love doing, but no longer can, because, after years of being raped, I have become vulnerable and fearful for my own bodily integrity and presence. After meditation, I almost immediately went into the twilight zone, when PF made a sexual overture to me, but I didn't know it was her, and I immediately closed off in fear, thinking that I was under some kind of KaBal attack. Now, if PF were laying next to me, I would have no problem whatsoever, with her initiating sexual contact, but I am so traumatized by all the rape that I have endured, that this immediately closes me off, and makes me feel "female" again. (Oh, did I forget to mention that such is another truth my prison counseling experience taught me--raping a man, feminizes him--makes him weak, uncertain, passive, and at a loss for exercising personal boundaries. In a healthy female, rape does not have such a profound demoralizing effect, unless there are exacerbating circumstances--of course rape on women is much more common than people think--it is only the heinous, exacerbated rapes that comes to public consciousness).

So, this whole experience, let me to a dream last night, that I think reflects my current condition most accurately. I dreamed that I was expected to shower in a public shower, and even though there were men's showers, I knew that, being in a female body, it was best that I shower with the women. The only problem was that I could not bring myself to go into the shower with them. Now, I always have had a problem doing group showers with other women (playing sports, dorm settings, jail, etc). I don't want to see other women naked. I become sexually aroused, and I feel horrible and guilty, as if I am some peeping tom underneath the porch, looking up a girl's skirt. I have always known that, in a female locker room, I was a "wolf in sheep's clothing", and it deeply bothers my conscience, which always aims to be truthful and respectful. So, while the ladies showered, I waited outside, for everyone to leave, so I could go and shower on my own. Then a Black man came up, and wanted to ask a woman who was showering, if a teeny tiny tube top would fit her (I am wondering if this woman was symbolic of PF). I told him, "you can't go in there--there's naked women, in there. Let me". So, I went in, and held up the tiny tube top and asked if she could wear it, and she gave me a look, I would expect, for really the outfit was childish, and would never be comfortable for a mature woman at all.

So, I interpret this dream to mean, that outwardly, the female body I am in necessitates me to identify as female in a public area. Now keeping in mind, that my body has been turned from a masculine hermaphrodite to a fat, soft, mutilated female with huge boobs, and is not my body at all, but looks decidedly more female than what God gave me and what I lived with for nearly fifty years, and you can understand my dilemma. Over the years, many times when I have been zoned out in my imagination, or not paying attention, I would find myself entering the men's restroom. However my small town upbringing and heavy superego immediately lays shame and guilt on me, so that I am quite conditioned to believe that I should use the women's restroom, except that doesn't feel comfortable or right, either. All I can do, is remain strangely isolated, not really at home in public with males or females, and just wait until I find my own spot of privacy, since that is the only place I feel comfortable. Now, I am guessing, but I think the incident with the teeny tiny tube top, refers to the Black psychic community wanting to straitjacket PF, before agreeing to help me. That is not going to work. Like me, PF has her own very strong and very healthy, and HARD EARNED sense of identity and autonomy, and she could not, in truth to herself, sell that out. Furthermore, the only reason that we are able to make babies in partnership, is because we both are so strong in spirit. In telepathic or spiritual reproduction, it is essential that both the female and male partners be equally strong in spirit. That is the only way it works, and that is the way I like it.

I don't know what is going to happen. I know my life has to change. I cannot bear being surrounded and assaulted by these KaBal parasitical creeps anymore. I made a move, based on faith and hope, but only time will tell how things pan out. In the meantime, I just have to continue working at life.

PS--You know, I just had an insight--I don't think the sexual overture that I experienced last night was from PF. I was in the twilight zone and so my perception was confused. No doubt it was the KaBal, who once again, were able to play frequencies in my head, that imitate my own brain frequencies when I have sex with PF. This is how the scumbags are able to trick me in my sleep, and you wonder why I despise the pricks. YOU FUCKING GODDAMNED PIGS, STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, MY BODY, AND MY SEX!!!! It makes life more difficult for me, because it inhibits my ability to have sex with PF, fearful that my brain waves and frequencies are being captured, so that the pigs are able to fool me in my sleep.

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