Friday, June 8, 2012

The rapes of me in my unconscious state continue

The rapes of me in my unconscious state continue--now the damned dog Sirians, the ones who consider themselves "religious" and "paragons of virtue and order" are the perverts piling on.

I was so sick this morning that I literally could not get up. Between the toxic levels of estrogen and psychotropic drugs, I was in a semi-psychotic state, which means that I literally could not bear to be in any kind of meditative state, as my own inner state was completely alienated from self and reality. So, I do what i always do in such circumstance--listen to music, so that I have something to focus on and sing to---which helps re-ground me in reality. Because I knew the racist, religionist Dog Sirians were responsible for my torment and slavery, I chose a strong, proud Black man to sing with--Bob Marley. Oh, and did I forget to mention that he also is genuinely spiritual, and like me, despises all these religionist blasphemers, like the Italian clique of the Dog Sirians, who celebrate death and sterility instead of life and creativity.

Anyway, I was so drugged that I kept going in and out of delirium, but in the final song, "Jamming with you", I woke up feeling like I was having sex in the interdimensional realm. I felt like I was having sex as a man, but my first thought was, "This is not 'PF'"--actually I used her intimate name, which I choose not to share. It was like masturbation--some kind of ersatz psuedo sex that arguably is better than nothing, but not when I know that I did not initiate it, I am not in control of the fantasy, and I am not feeling it. So I got up, as soon as I possibly could, feeling raped and used all over again--no difference between the Faction2/3 gay perverts and the Italian/Jesuit celibate perverts whatsoever---they both are parasites looking to feed off another's sexuality and spirituality, rather than developing their own. As a matter of fact, the other image that came to me, was the image of the poppy again. Whatever the hell was going on, during "Jamming" was not lovemaking--it was a narcotic drip. Since I am not an addict, and not turned on by sterility and unreality, I got nothing out of it, except a feeling of disgust.

So, that is the bad news. The good news is that I (we) just had triplet sons today. I think they were conceived yesterday, when in my rage, I destroyed the HAARP computers and facilities by Faction 2/3, which they are constructing, in order to turn the planet Earth into a "Grey zone" of slaves--both drones, and sophisticates (I would be the latter--get her to enjoy sex with the MACHINE and milk her for her brain chemicals. Yuck! And it is these bastards who populate the Vatican and upper levels of the Catholic Church. Thank God, I gave up THAT poppy over eight years ago.). That was important news to me, because it confirms my dream of the the three Black youths being "me". You see, I, or actually, we (I could not have done it without PF), conceived those boys by thought and love alone (no sexual relations of any kind), and I was a little worried, because I know that in a long ago lifetime, my anger had catastrophic consequences. So, I am a little afraid of it--afraid that I could abuse it, for purpose of destruction, ego gratification and rage, rather than for justice and protection. So, to me, the conception of children during that episode was a sign that, yes, my anger WAS and IS holy, that it was and is life-giving, at the same time as being judiciously destructive. Since PF delivered three boys, my own deep psyche self-concept as an immature Black man, fragmented into a tripartite of emotional/spiritual/intellectual dimensions is affirmed. I am attempting to work on unifiying these elements, and maturing, but as always, the biggest obstacle is the negative KaBal, which steals and undermines my energy and effort with their mind control and slave vision enforcement of who they think I should be--not who I AM.

I still am feeling pretty fucked up, but I have to force myself out of the house. I have realized that one of the Italian/Jesuit bastards is occupyin the other side of the duplex, and believe me, it creeps me out. The YUCK FACTOR of being in such close proximity to such a soulless parasite and slaver bastard is just too much to withstand, so I got to get out of her--maybe i will go sit int he park.

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