Monday, June 4, 2012

I am having heart pains

I am having heart pains and I thought it was traditional heart problems, but today as I felt the same congestion next to the right of my heart, I also felt the same congestion on my left side, and it hit me. The heart pains are caused by the unnatural constriction of my chest cavity, which the Arcturians did to make me more "feminine". Just as I am now asthmatic, while doing even moderate exercise, because I no longer have the muscular skeletal support to provide the necessary room and strength for the way my body naturally developed, now I no longer have the literal necessary space for my heart to properly beat and arteries to transport blood. This is exactly the same thing with my lungs--I no longer have enough space for them to expand and breathe properly. Even now I can feel it, and it is making me asthmatic.
Heart attacks run in my family, and I never worried about them before, because I was so fit from my cardiovascular and yoga exercise that I was confident in my ability to withstand it. It has been a couple of years since I could exercise however, but more than that, I am recognizing a congested tightness, not in the heart, but to the immediate right of the heart. I have only started feeling it in the past couple of days, and think that is caused by a constricted, unnaturally small chest cavity, and I think it is putting pressure and stress on the heart organ.

I never know what is going to happen. The thyroid meds overdose from yesterday is gone. This body has to change. It is literally unbearable to be in this female body, and it goes further than looking at it, and missing my muscle. It is the whole sense of being completely uncomfortable in it, so that I continue to artifically prop my back forward, so that I sit with the upper body carriage of a man. There is nothing aesthetic about it. It just FEELS so much better to have the energy flow when my shoulders and chest cavity are forward, or for that matter when my pelvis is tilted forward. It has been so long though, since I have had good energy, that I am used to just muddling along the best I can.

However, the chest constriction could likely kill me---something has got to change...

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