The truth did not set me free--woke up feeling like I was in a kid's body. As a matter of fact, the first thing I thought on awakening was that I was Tom Hanks in "Big", finding himself once more in a boy's body. The feeling of lightness of a child, lasted even less for me than it did for Hanks, because at least he woke up in a BOY's body. As soon as I woke up, I felt the GODDAMNED BOOBS HANGING OFF ME, AND THE FEELING OF BEING IN AN ALIEN, HATEFUL FEMALE BODY ASSAILED ME ONCE AGAIN. WHEN IS THIS SHIT GOING TO FUCKING STOP? Even as I write this, I am so self conscious of, and alienated from this body I am in--it FEELS ME WITH DISGUST AND LOATHING, AND I SUSPECT THE FUCKING GODDAMN TEPLAR PIGS--FACTION 2/3 WERE ABLE TO EFFECT SOME CHANGE IN BRAIN OR HORMONES THAT MAKES THE FEMALE BODY EVEN MORE HATEFUL.
I go through shit every so often. The stupid goddamned pieces of shit, will do anything to turn me into a female. Sometimes they switch the body polarity to try to force a female identity on me--that may have happened, because what that really does is fill me with rage at being in a fucking alienated body.
I can feel the rage welling up inside of me---what the fuck did the goddamned mother fuckers do to me? How are the pieces of goddamned shit flipping me? I know that they are able to mimic, to fool, my senses in my astral sleep, because I have been able to determine that someone was pretending to be PF in the astral state. THAT IS THE ONLY WAY THE MOTHER FUCKERS CAN OPERATE--THROUGH LIES, DECEIT, TREACHEROUS, LUCIFERIAN HEXES. Not only am I NOT A WOMAN, BUT A MAN, GODDAMNED IT, AND EVEN IF I WERE A WOMAN, I WOULD HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU PIECES OF SCUM.
As I write this, I smell a scent that I often smell from cigarettes that I buy at the Indian Center--before I figured out that they contaminated with some virus that sent me to the Faction 2/3 frequency in my astral sleep, and quit buying them. It kind of smells mentholated--like Vicks, or maybe that mentholated cinammon that so many abductees talk so much about. It is coming from my open bedroom window, and I suspect that they have put this substance with the viral frequency stimulant all around my house, and in the air conditioners, so that I will breathe it, and they can abduct me. Once they do that, the deception begins, and apparently I agree to being female, and engage in some kind of questionably consensual sex, since they are using drugs and hi tech gadgetry to fool an unconscious brain. It is almost like having sex with an infant--all unconscious and trusting and dependent, but since these cultists are infantile, it would make sense.
Somehow, I have to figure out how these bastards are flipping me. I am at a loss. I keep unearthing all this past karma, and yet I cannot seem to break free. Is it my own immaturity? Since for me, being a girl signifies immaturity and lack of responsibility, is that why I keep insisting that I am female---because it puts me in a place where I do not have to be responsible?
I don't know. I feel like I am going crazy trying to figure this all out.