predatory cycle is begun agin. woke up so depredssed long for death. ntohing motivates me--what lover, whatkids. i am forced into fcuking female body and hormones, which do nothing but completely severely depress me. knew last nite when treid to write and brain literally did nt have energy or focus to do so. cant live like this. would rather be dead than in this female body. somebody blow my brains out and give me realease. sick and goddamned tired of being a fucking slave to this fucking parasite users.
took a vicodin. not in pain, physical pain anyway, but i would rather be stoned than live with the derpesion of female hormones and slavery on my body. if i have to be alive, with this fucking shit, only way to bear it is to be druged.