Friday, June 22, 2012

Time for some more "truthing"

Time for some more "truthing"--I have been holding back on this following post for a long time, mostly because I have feared for my children's lives--especially my blonde hair, blue eyed daughter, who is, in interdimensional time, about 12 or 14. I feel like I finally have inner reassurance that it is okay to speak out, and so, here it comes...

I spent this morning, getting rid of another baby evil spirit that was put in me last night during an abduction. How do you get an evil spirit in someone? Ask any Christian exorcist--fear. I read an account by a Christian pastor and exorcist once, of how he came home from a night out with his wife, and saw his young daughter, who had been left with a baby sitter, uncharacteristically quiet. He knew something was wrong, and he exorcised a "baby" evil spirit from her right there on the spot. I think there probably is a lot more evil and evil spirits floating around than people realize, but spiritually healthy people can get rid of them, without major trauma or stress, just like physically healthy people can handle viral bugs and colds and flu's without becoming very ill. I was able to pass that evil spirit out, fairly easily during morning meditation. It just is depressing that the abuse still is continuing.

Yes, I was abducted last night, and I guarantee you that I experienced major fear. I woke up this morning in pain from all the mutilation, all over the body. Once again, the torso was sliced away to add yet more fat to these already huge boobs that the Nazis created for their amusement and mind control games. For you see, they beat the breasts during the abduction experience. I have known this for sometime, and when I woke up this morning--once again miserable with the loss of flesh and increase of boobs, I lifted up my shirt to check them out. No medical doctor would ever believe what my breasts look like--they are not centered off a chest, but hang out from the sides by nearly two inches. This morning, I can see all the red and purple from where they were beaten and squeezed last night. Now, why would the KaBal create breasts and then abuse them? For that matter, why do they put it in a little girls head that she is a "princess" while they rape her, and then later, murder a man in front of her? Because that is the way the mind control works--they try to set up an identity, that the victim can only hate and feel alienated from. Once they do that, the setup for brain or mind flipping is primed.

You know, in my dreams I think I am continuing to insist that I am female. Now why am I doing that, when consciously I know that I am not a female at all, and I desperately long to have my body correspond to its original DNA blueprint, before it was hijacked by reptiles, and live in a man's body, once I pass to the interdimensional realm. I think it is because I always empathize with the suffering and despised, and the KaBal, with their ritualistic abuse of the female flesh that they have created, is making me feel sorry for the females of the world, and wanting to identify with them, to share their suffering, so to speak. Well, I have an easy response to that, and that is, in marriage, a spouse feels the suffering and pain of their partner. I think PF has suffered more as a female, than I ever could or will, and yes, I feel the pain of her history, though I try not to dwell on it, since I am not in a place where I can talk honestly about it, and the subject is so sensitive that I do not want to broach it, otherwise. I do not really suffer as a female. I suffer as a male. I don't give a shit about what people think about my reputation or my sexual history or my physical appearance. It's funny, but it is fair to say that in my recent actions, I prostituted myself, yet I bet that thought never crossed anybody's mind or judgment, and that is because my actions of consequence has everybody, at least unconsciously, acknowledging that I am a male, and males are not punished for prostituting themselves--just females. Since my identity is primarily that as warrior, well, everyone just assumes that my unsavory tactics of weaponry, just had to happen. Very few give PF the same consideration--though everything she did, she did to survive, and then she had to spend years clearing her mind and spirit of all the damage and destruction. That is why she suffers as a female, while I never will, no matter how many times I am raped, coerced, flipped or prostituted into sex. It would be incredibly psychologically damaging for me to assume the feminine "Cross", so the speak.

For me to be psychologically and spiritually healthy, I have to carry the masculine "Cross"--the ego insecurity of not getting respect from one's peers, or of having low status in the world. My healthy spiritual role as a man who wants to support and encourage a strong feminine, is not to weaken and devitalize myself by becoming a female--for I will NEVER, EVER be a strong female--that is why for all my giftedness in my earlier years, I could never fit in, commensurable with my abilities. Now, with all the drugs and hormones, I don't even have the physical energy to be peak productive. I have been sick all day with nausea and low energy of toxic estrogen--and that is what enables the KaBal to abduct me. PF knows this, which is why she tries so hard to get me to engage in sex and self-identify as a man, because when I do, THEN, and ONLY THEN, am I strong enough to resist the negativity and evil of the KaBal.

No, as a man, my contribution to the increase of feminine respect, is not identifying as a female, but working to protect and support the feminine--primarily in my own immediate family, and then, extending outwards. That is why I have been so insistent that PF be treated with respect. It also is why I have kept my mouth shut about Salusa for so long (well, that, and because I was a double agent, trying to figure out what he and the "Galactic Federation Council" (or whatever the hell it is called) were planning to do to sink humanity and the planet, one more time. You see, Salusa implicitly threatened me, by letting me know that he had custody and control of my daughter, or at least that is the way I interpreted it. PF can speak more authoritatively, as she has been the one, who, over the past few months, has been desperately trying to protect our children from the custody of various Sirian factions, none of whom really appreciate them as free beings, or PF and I, as parents. To too many of them, we are just farm animals, who reproduce our offspring for their benefit. It would have been nice if somewhere, some Sirians or hybrids had recognized the miracle of our children for what they are, and offered sanctuary. Instead, at every turn, both PF and I have been backstabbed, abused and even raped.

Well, that kind of thinking and behavior is why they are sterile. PF and I had children, because we love each other. LOVE. That is what makes free babies in the interdimensional realm, not coitus, not Magic, not science. Because we love our own selves (because we both learned that if we didn't love ourselves, we had no one else there to do it for us), we are each strong individuals, who know and stand up for our rights and individuality. Because we love each other, we feel each other's pain, and constantly sacrifice for the other. Because we love each other, our love making creates children, and for them, each of us would sacrifice ourselves as well.

So, it was for my daughter (call her "L"), that I sacrificed my integrity, keeping my mouth shut while Salusa and the Tall Whites of the Moon abducted and mutilated me at night. I had had a negative impression of Salusa from the beginning, but there was so much going on, that I did not have time to focus on him. Yet, my original hypothesis was correct. From the beginning, Salusa mutilated my body in an attempt to devitalize me, and make sure that I never would be able to ascend into the interdimensional realm as a free human. It was always a part of his plan, that I ascend, via his technology, which would lead to a radical loss of free will, and allowed the KaBal to flip me at will. I will never forget the loss of energy I experienced upon awakening, and finding my lower back and sacrum gutted out, and inversely tilted, like a woman. It totally disrupted all of my energetic flow, and I miss it still today. Then a few months later, Salusa& company inverted my upper torso, so that I no longer have my shoulders jutting forward, but the boobs on my chest. Again, this caused major loss of energy--something I can prove for a fact, because when I meditate, I am too ill and low energy to initiate any spiritual flow--until I put a cushion against my upper torso, so that once more, my body has its natural male contours, and then, and only then, do ascension energies flow. Unfortunately, my entire musculature is out of whack, and I cannot stay in this position long--even supported, but once again, it shows that I will never be a strong female, only a devitalized, weakened one--and that is the way that the negative entities and the Sirians who carry a slave/slave owner mentality, like it.

Apart from PF, I had only one other mentor and friend in the interdimensional realm. His name was Fred Bell, and he himself was very cerebral, and he had worked in the scientific community for years, so he was very comfortable working with autistics. In the early days of my action with the Patriots in the interdimensional realm, he was my "guardian" and protector, so to speak. I could not do a lot of what most interdimensionals could, and so he helped me communicate and travel. I really liked and appreciated Fred Bell. The KaBal would have everyone believe that I have difficulty relating to men. That is B.S., and my relations with Fred proved it. However, Fred has passed on to a different reality, now, because he was murdered when a traitor informed the KaBal of Patriot interdimensional activity in which Fred and I were involved. That traitor was Salusa. We were attacked by rogue agents, and Fred was murdered--actually, he was captured and tortured, and then murdered. Now, how I escaped I do not know. At that point, I did not have the ability to teleport myself, but maybe necessity forced me to learn in a hurry. I remember another Patriot woman encouraging me to go through a door, but I told her telepathically that I could not, because I had not yet advanced that far. It is also possible that Salusa himself teleported me.

You see, I have a theory, and that theory is that Salusa, like immature, evil beings everywhere, was jealous of Fred's mentorship of me. More than anything else, he wanted me for his very own, pet slave. Fred, like PF, never related to me from a dominating or authoritarian position, but always with respect for my human freedom and right to choose. Salusa could never compete with that, and he knew it, so Fred was murdered. In the dream memory I have of the incident, I was teleported somewhere, and Salusa appeared and wanted me to go with him. I absolutely refused, and even in my dream I was fearful of him. Eventually a couple of dog Sirians came to my rescue, but I never forgot that dream, although I did not remember it, until a couple of years later, a few weeks ago, when I just happened to be talking to "Watcher" (think it was somebody else), and it came out. I knew then, beyond any doubt, that Salusa was profoundly evil AND that he had his sights on me. However, I could not do anything about it, because later that afternoon, while sitting on my front porch, I saw a car pull up into Salusa's driveway, and my beautiful daughter L, get out. She gave me a yearning look, then stamped and turned away (her mother's daughter, there), as if she had been told to just look at me, and then move on, but I got the message, loud and clear, "We have your daughter, and if you tell the truth about Salusa's part in this Patriot lab raid and the murder of Fred Bell, she will pay the consequence".

Now, you cannot imagine my fear for my daughter. First of all, she was going into a household populated by a bunch of young male perverts, and as an innocent, classically beautiful girl, she was/is highly vulnerable (she was just visiting--she lives in another dimension--she was on Salusa's ship; I don't know where she is now, but if she were still on Salusa's ship, I would not be writing this). Yes, she is a little young, but that is the way perverts like them. Maybe Salusa would take her on one of his trips to the reptilian moon base, where any number of horrors could happen. I don't even like to think about it. I never want my children to suffer as PF and I have, and I will do everything in my power to prevent it.

My children were a prime motivating factor in all of my actions, and continue to be. More than anything else, I want them to be free, and I want them to know the love and stability of a home with a mother and a father. Yet, that still is not a reality. Both PF and I have the fangs of the KaBal deep in our neck. PF got involved in the interdimensional world very young and early, and got burned, before she learned the truth. By that time, the damned vampires had her slave contract in hand, before she even knew what was happening, kind of like what almost happened to me at the car dealership. I got involved with the KaBal through conventional religion, and guess what? I was burned by my naivete, following safe and proper channels, just as she was. We both have learned the hard way how to discern evil from the good, and that is what makes us such strong fighters for humanity. It remains to be seen if the good interdimensional residents of the world are ever going to recognize that, and come to our assistance, because if they don't, we are sunk. We cannot break free by ourselves. I keep saying that I can teach others how to conceive children spiritually, rather than carnally, but I cannot do that, when I am so sick that I can barely stand on my own two feet.

In the meantime, the abuse keeps coming. Now, I do not know how I was abducted last night. Salusa had power over PF at one point, and it may be possible that he acquired information from that relationship, which enables him to mimic her--funny thing about all this "flipped sex"--in my dreams, I think I am having sex with PF. It is only when I wake up with that yucky feeling, that I know that I have been duped. Maybe the secret that I just revealed, kept, because of fear for my daughter, is responsible for his power over me. That is why I had to write this. The other possibility is that Salusa, who is an "ancient", may have taught Isis the magical spell that she used on the Scorpion king--probably by consent. Thus, Salusa knows that he can control me through this magical spell, because it was originally cast by my lover and soul mate, and I have no defense against it--except now, when I reveal Salusa for the lying, murderous traitor that he is, and abjure all magical spells placed on me.

You know, I have to say, that though PF is gifted in magic, she never used magic against me. I have learned that she had a crush on me for years, yet she never moved to interfere in my life in any invasive way. Our relationship began when I realized who she was, and began opening up to her. When no one would help me, she was doing everything possible to save my skin--shapeshifting into an attorney to tell me how to defend myself in court, when the Amon-RA faction wanted to send me back to jail. I thought she was a Pleiadian at one point, after I had seen one in the MRI room at the hospital. A couple of nights later, my back was painfully out, when I felt this energetic body come and gently adjust my back into normal anatomical position. Did she try to turn me on sexually, even though I am certain that she had sexual feelings for me? No. I think she saved my mother's life on a night when my intuition told me that my mother was attempting suicide that very night. Everything she has done for me, has been motivated by love--and that has been going on for decades, even though I was completely unaware of it.

Did she ever use magic on me? Only in the most benign or humorous of incidents. So, she made me a medicine bag, and she opens jars for me, when I say, "Jeannie, I could use some help, here". My hands are severely weakened by all the mutilation, so I have no shame. Then, on a couple of occasions she has done things like lock me in my truck (in temperate weather), when I try to exit, or deflate the tire on my bike when I go to ride it. Why? Because she was trying to make a point that she wanted me to talk to her, instead of running away. Is that magic? Was it magic, when my ex used to do the same thing--refuse to let me leave the house, because I didn't want to deal with any emotional drama. I got to say both my lovers have recognized my weakness, and found ways to deal with it, and that is a good thing, because like most autistics, I not only have a masculine psyche, I have a HYPERmasculine psyche, and I have great difficulty in accessing my own feelings. I need a woman to help mirror them back to me, a woman strong enough to make me experience them, and talk them out, when really, I just as soon go for a walk or a bike ride.

There was never any magic involved in our relationship, or our lovemaking. If magic could make children, the interdimensional world would be full of wounded, sexually abused youngsters (and maybe that is why, there are no Sirian children). However, the KaBal has used all kinds of magic on me. Right now, I am sick as a dog, from female hormones that have frothing at the mouth, and nauseated from drinking water--pharmaceutical magic. The dog Sirians shapeshifted into PF's body, pretended to be her, and then used magic to try to get me to have sex with reptiles. I took the POS into the basement to turn off the apartment's heater, and what did I find the next time I looked where he had been--a cheap dart, with a screw for a tip! I was going to take a digital picture of it, so that everyone could see the high technology aliens are using to control us (hey people, I am not being facetious, even though I admit I am laughing while I write this--I wasn't laughing, when I felt a strange being--reptile--attempting intercourse with me, as a result of that damned dart). Oh, and then there was the other high tech trick he used--dropping a cigarette on the basement floor to seal his evil intent. That gesture I caught, just as I have many others, but it is an uphill battle, when there is no library of knowledge.

There desperately needs to be regulation of the use of Magic, because the knowledge and power is there, and it is not going away. It is like a police officer with a gun. It is a tool to be used only in the service of the public interest, and if some rogue cop abuses that trust, then you sue the shit out of his employer. Right now, the practitioners of Magic are riding roughshod over humanity--from the grand scale of manipulating the planet's electrical grid, to fleecing us of our wealth and free will through usurious finance, to putting "screw you" darts in the basements of prospective sexual slaves for reptiles. When are we going to wise up and allow and respect the people who know Magic, such as PF, to share the knowledge and help us plan policies for better regulation and less abuse of it?

I don't know. I can see so much good that PF and I could do, if we could just find safe harbor. Well, as everyone knows by now, I am making a break for it. Wish me well, all you Patriots and Lovers of the world.

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