I woke up this morning

I woke up this morning with more energy than I have in a while, but it is getting more and more difficult to move. My lower back and pelvic girdle are completely locked up, with no movement, no flexibility whatsoever (noticed it for the first time yesterday). Any attempt at even the gentlest of exercise (not much--I can't even touch the ground in a forward bend) leads to pain and a radiating sense of lameness in not only the sacral muscles, but in the radiating limbs.

I still cannot listen to music of any kind--it is as if the motherfucking luciferian pigs were literally able to cut off and destroy my emotional nervous system. It doesn't matter if it is Santana, Loretta Lynn, or Mozart--the body, the soul, the heart cannot feel or respond to the music. Indeed it sounds like noise that I can't bear. Music is one of my simple pleasures in life. I cannot imagine living life without enjoying music. Not only does it lift my spirits, but it actually helps me concentrate, and think better, while reading or writing. Certainly, it improves my quality of life. So question I ask myself is, I am going to be this miserable, joyless, pain-filled creature for the rest of my life? It is incredible that these motherfucking sons of bitches can destroy someone's emotional nervous system with drugs and mutilating surgery. There is nothing for it today. Even though physically I am better, still I struggle for mental energy and holy desire and ambition, to, well, live life.