Monday, January 24, 2011

No dr visit today

No dr visit today--slept to noon. Suffered terribly all day with joint and nerve pain. figured out the PIB's are giving me massive infusion of the drug--somehow they are able to give it more directly--dont know how. But I know now that what I am suffering from is rheumatoid arthritis. My body is recognizing what my mind recognized long ago--that i am being poisoned. I am in severe pain all over. Earlier i felt a walnut lump sized knot in my lymph node in neck--i felt it there over ten fifteen mins, and then it was gone--where did it go? To attack all my nerves and joints in my body. I will have to get some kind of serious medication for this. The pain is severely disabling, and i cannot concentrate on anything much at all. This may be the ticket for disability, but I can't live another year with this kind of pain. It is just too goddamned much. I find it difficult to walk to bathroom. Huurts to sit. to lay down. to tpye. all body is affected, needless to say, the same brain rushes driving me crazy--its just the pain is worse. they also are messing with my digestion. For the past two days i have had the most painful stool of my life--taking colace now--hope that helps that. but this pain is unbearable. my reality is unbearable.

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