On lithium once again.

On lithium once again. Not in realty for much of the day.. Worse is what I can feel it doing to my brain. having serious memory problems again. this drug is what started the feeling of derpression last nite. I wonder how many brain cell the fuckers will kill this time? Or how many pounds i will gain, before my body completely locks up. Now it is just lower badk and torso. knew it was going to be a bad day. refilled vicodin, got a pint of vodka, know there is stuff to do and write, but nothing seems urgent except to sleep and not feel this semi psychotic state and the locked muscle spasm of body.