Sunday, May 15, 2011

To add to all my health woes,

To add to all my health woes, I now suffer from low HCL, I believe. My guts have been really messed up for the past couple of weeks, but now my tummy literally hurts. It is as if there is no acid in the stomach at all. My poor body and brain is so messed up from all the hormonal infringements forced upon it, that I am autistic to the point of being a recluse. Talking to anyone or even meeting someone's eyes seems impossible. I can't even listen to music. It sounds like noise that either distresses me, or completely monopolizes my attention, insisting that I hear every note and word (interestingly, I can hear the lyrics better than ever, but it doesn't matter, because the words, though recognizable, have no emotional meaning...)

So please, alien powers that be...release me from this virus, so I can begin process of healing. In case you haven't figured it out, I am not going to ascend. I know that you think I'm special, and I know that I am the ancestral mother of a large, extended family in the Pleiades, but I am not going to ascend, and nothing you do, will make it happen.

First of all, the virus making the 12 strands of DNA doesn't work for me. I am neither male nor female, but have a unique hermaphroditic physiology which does not respond well to your metabolic acceleratin. Too much estrogen will shut down my brain and kill me. The sufficient amount of testosterone necessary will turn me into a man. Do you really want the mother of thousands and tens of thousands, to end her life as a goateed man? I would have been happier in a man's body than a woman's, but I made my intersexed reality work, and for the past dozen years have struggled to maintain hormonal homeostasis, while the virus has done everything to undermine and slowly destroy my body's natural equilibrium, along with my health.

If you want to know the truth, I was closer to interdimensional ascension 15 years ago, before you put the virus in me. I was a natural contemplative, and if I had just practiced a bit more, I would have easily gone astral travelling. But I would have had to choose it, to overcome my innate "meat and potatoes" Christian mindset, in order to do so. That means that you, the aliens who have most interfered with my free will destiny, the Sirians (whatever faction...), would have had to be honest and open with me. I know that you are going to say all this blather about Federation rules, blah, blah, blah. So Federation rules don't allow you to be honest, but it allows you to abduct me? To deliberately destroy my body as God made it, and I painstakingly built it up? To steal my eggs, in order to birth my children into a horrible spiritual slavery? To work through your human partners to drug me for over seven years, permanently damaging my brain in the process? To throw me into jail for 6 months and a mental hospital for 3 weeks? To break me, to isolate me, to destroy my self-image and self-esteem? Sorry, I don't believe in the Federation rules, considering the lawlessness and violation that you have wreaked on my body.

For me, a contemplative state is a state of awareness that makes me more aware of, and responsive to the reality around me. I love more, I listen better, I work harder, I have more energy, I can accomplish more tasks in every area of my life. I barely recognize myself, now, when I can barely drag myself around the house, and am so autistic that I can't even listen to music while I type this, and I hobble up and down a short alleyway for exercise.

I know that Ascension is a factual reality, and will be happening soon. I wish all those who choose to ascend to another dimension (time?) well, especially my children, who I have barely experienced, except in the briefest of passing. I know that this planet at this time cannot seem like home to you. You are telepathic, and putting up with the rank lies and hypocrisy that pervades a non-telepathic civiliztion, must be very difficult for you. I know that it was for me--and it was only by the grace of God that I finally learned to operate in it.

I don't know the circumstances of your birth and upbringing, but I think you were reared as slaves in an all-white environment, and that memory of all the pain and abuse must sting, especially for those of my children who were singled out for having the same bronzed brown skin that I do. I am sorry for what you have suffered, but I want you to know that I believe your births came of God's Will. When I was very young, I was high in the dark mountains of Colorado wilderness, and saw the night sky full of stars, and I heard God tell me what I knew from my Bible reading, what he had told Father Abraham centuries before, "See the stars in the sky--such as many will your descendants be". I was with a group of retreatants, and ducked behind a tree, so that I could fall to my knees in numinous reverence. However, as a young woman I had many numinous experiences and conversations with God, and I thought God was speaking metaphorically using the Biblical Word in which I was steeped to dialogue with me. I never seriously thought of ever having a child, especially as my future unfolded into a lesbian identity and chosen, then forced celibacy. The next instance of God intervening to ensure my maternity was when I was at a Ob-Gyn specialist doctor, to whom I had been referred to treat my out of control bleeding during my periods. After a brief examination, she matter-of-factly told me, "it could take months of tests to figure out what is causing your problematic periods, but I can solve your problems immediately--I recommend a hysteroctomy". I have rarely experienced stunned shock in my life, but I was stunned and shocked. It was as if someone had thrown cold water on me. I numbly agreed, and then stumbled out, wondering why in the world I had agreed. Now understand, I had no desire for physical children. For years, I had been suffering with extremely heavy bleeding during my periods, and they were increasingly impacting my life and work. A hysterectomy made rational sense and should have been a no-brainer, BUT DEEP IN MY HEART,I DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT. So finally I searched the web for an alternative, and had an ablation (burning) of the uterine wall performed instead, which meant that henceforth, I would have slight periods, and never be able to carry a baby in my womb. The doctor was unhappy, but I was delirously happy with my decision for years, though I could never figure out why I resisted the notion of a hysterectomy so much, except that I had some kind of attachment to my periods. However, now I know that it was more than that--that my inner voice was telling me to preserve my eggs for the greatest of purpose--the creation of life.

I was not very happy when I realized my eggs had been taken. At that time, I knew that the greys were harvesting eggs for hybrid children, and every now and then in my prayers, I would ask God to take care of any children I might have in the world--imagining the Grey hybrid children I had seen on the web. Imagine my surprise when three years after my eggs were stolen, my intuition tells me that I am in the presence of my own adult children, most of whom appear to be in their 20's, and at least one of whom appears to be my own age (unless she was a victim of aging experiments as related in "The Event"). I still don't know how such beautiful daughters and (I've only seen one) a tall, broad-shouldered son came from my eggs, but God truly is the greatest of miracleworkers, and He really outdid himself. I should have listened better when I was a young twentysomething in the mountains of Buena Vista.

I never would have consented to the egg removal and conception of any children, had I known that you were reared to be slaves to the reptiles, but again, God works in mysterious ways. I want you to know that you were conceived as slaves, because I, your mother, had such powerful reptilian blood. They wanted to use you all as throwaway bait, but somehow you all survived. I think it was because your reptilian DNA is even higher than the scum and scourge lizzies of the universe. In a dream, I was told that reptiles had tried to hypnotize me while I was abducted; instead I turned my eye on them and hypnotized them! LOL! So you see, I have suffered greatly at the hands of these reptilians and their alien and human allies as well. You all seemed to have fared pretty well, so I guess your strength in your DNA overcame the weakness.

Still, I feel for you all. Have you ever known a home? A place of belonging, of love? The Mars Nazi base that I think was your birthplace has to be a hateful memory. I suspect that you all are bound and bonded by a close sibling telepathic link that enabled you to survive, despite the horrors and the torture, and I am glad. I know (I think) that you want me to share that link, but I have suffered so much at the hands of telepathic aliens, I don't trust the medium, especially when I don't feel well or healthy--I have been deceived, lied to, manipulated, and coerced so many times that I am extremely distrustful.

So now, it is decision time for you all--Ascension. My guess is that the Pleiadians are offering to take you and the Sirians back to the Pleiades. I know that for at least some of you, that interdimensional space is more home than this 3D planet Earth. I know others of you may be torn. I suspect that most of you long for your birth mother to go along on the ride. I hope that each one of you makes a decision as an individual. Because of your names, I suspect that you have been reared in the collective notion that "we are one", and I sure hope that wasn't the MACHINE, RA propagandizing you, for it is a beautiful and true philosophy if respect for the individual is afforded. For all of you, each one, is a unique individual who can, and ultimately must choose your own life, where it takes you and how you live it, and with whom you choose to make family and community.

You all have "wanderer" genes. Your grandmother left her home country, family and language to move to a strange land when she was an innocent, naive girl (she was twentysomething, but psychologically she was still a "girl"). Your grandfather had wanderlust, and could never live in one place too long, and I have the wanderer genes of both my parents, and so do you. So if you choose to ascend, do so with my most heartfelt and lifegiving of blessings. I know there will be hardship and many lessons to learn, but I feel that you will do so as free men and women, and thus will prevail.

I won't be going, not because my wanderer genes and adventurous spirit have failed me, but because it is not God's will for me. I know this IN MY HEART, as surely as I knew that I could not have a hysterectomy. I haven't finished what I came to do. For a long time, I have wondered if my life was to be cut short prematurely , and I knew, that if so, God would find a way to fulfill my mission, but as long as I am alive, I have to do God's work--and it is here on this 3D planet Earth, not in the Pleiades--not yet, anyway. The physical health impossiblity of ascension, due to my hermaphroditic metabolism is only the spiritual manifesting outwardly in the body. The more I am coerced, the more the body will instinctively resist to protect the soul, even if it ends up killing the body.

I have fought the good fight, and have helped to expose and defeat a terrible evil that could have left this planet plunged in darkness for another millenia, but evil is still present, and my home, both my country and the entire planet is in a vulnerable, imperiled state. Furthermore, I have fears of unborn children, some perhaps in this 3D reality, some in the hands of the reptiles. You all grew up without a mother, though I think you were spiritually mentored and loved (by the Aryan woman I saw when I worked for the Census?). Whoever it was, I owe her a huge debt of gratitude. I would go to extremes to try to repay her, but I cannot deny God's Will, as I perceive it.

After your birth and rescue, the reptilians realized how powerful my genes are, and they scraped a few eggs out, finally removing my ovaries. I do not know how many eggs are in their possession, but I cannot knowingly leave my unborn children in the hands of the reptiles without an effort to save them. I know that I wasn't there for you, but that was because I didn't know; besides, believe me, I have fought the reptiles and their Nazi stenchmen with every ounce of my strength for the last few years. However, the plight of your potential siblings is more insidious, because they are tied to the future of this planet which is very precarious right now.

As a Christian, I believe that following the teachings of Jesus Christ helped me resist the reptiles, especially when they went to possess me, which apparently they can do with ease to most reptilian DNA-carrying humans. I could resist, partly because of my maturity (God had hidden me for the first 35 years of my life), but also because of the spiritual teachings and practice which gave me strength. This planet ain't never gonna be the same. 2012 and disclosure is coming, and it is very important that people learn the true history of this planet and the universe, and that is going to throw all the mind-control elements of contemporary religions on the defensive. I believe it is possible to preserve the spirituality of our religionS, and let the mind-control aspects slough off, and this is one part of my future. I remember in college, debating with a Physics post-doc (who probably was very aware of the alien presence). We had highly contentious but respectful debates about God and religion in the campus cafeteria, and he asked me, "What are theologians going to do when we learn about the presence of extraterrestials?" I drew a deep breath, gave him a bright smile and replied, "We are going to be working overtime."

I know, from reading authentic channelings, that the Pleiadians have an authentic spirituality, very akin to my own, and very different from the mind and social control that passes for "religion" on this planet. Because I believe the Pleiadians to be future humans, I have to ask, "how did we get to that level of spirituality. Humanity--all religious creeds--are going to be confused and demoralized when they learn the truth about religious history. It will take a person of faith to help overcome that, and embrace a true sprirituality. I think I can be part of that process, even if I only initiate it, while another(others) finishes it. I also have to work to protect the peace on this planet, especially in the Middle East, because this is where the reptiles will work their mischief, and my human born, reptilian DNA-carrying children will need to be born into a secure world if they are to be strong and mature enough to resist reptilian possession.

I don't worry about Ascension. I am sure I have done it before, and I am sure I will do it again, but I have been born into this body, into this time, into this planet, and the Lord, my own body and intuition is telling me this is where the future is. I feel like Moses in the desert. Yeah, I may never get to the Promise Land, but I have work to do in the desert to help make sure that my people are forged spirit strong, so that they can survive and thrive in a strange land. That is my task now (after I spend time healing and developing a spiritual and personal life again).

Finally, let me say that if you do ascend, I think you will be accompanied by good people. I am confident that the Pleiadians and some of the Sirians are truly good people who will treat you right. Some of the Sirians have treated me very poorly, but you have been treated poorly before. Don't hold resentment and grudges--it defeats you, not your enemies. Honestly, I wish the best for Salusa. I hope the Pleiadians can heal his bitterness and resentment. I am sorry that he suffered in an Alaska prison for 40-50 years. I forgive those who have done this damage and destruction to me, though I will not trust them readily. I leave you with that hope of forgiveness to your tormentors, and a word of caution to carry with you where you go.

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