Understanding more of what the recent viral implant

Understanding more of what the recent viral implant is doing to me. The original implant was in my left hand and arm, going up through my heart center and temporal lobe. This implant near my right elbow is impacting my brain's right hemisphere. I can tell, because a long time ago, when I was first infected, I noticed that when I chewed food, I could feel a muscle or bone moving in my left temple area that I had never felt before. My right temple area was fine--until I noticed a change yesterday. Now my right temple has the same exaggerated muscle/bone moving in the same, correlating area. I wonder if my ability to "telepathically link" has been increased by this virus. I don't know. I know that I don't like it, and I don't trust it. While I do think I telepathically conversed with my daughter yesterday, I still just have dialogic voices popping in my head, and I distrust that they are alien and/or remote viewers who are interested in deceiving me. Now, dialogic voices in my head do not frighten or intimidate me at all. I have had imaginary dialogues with myself, with God, with people I knew/know, and people I have never even met, and some who are no longer living. It never bothered me, because I felt like it was a trusted source--my deep unconscious--and if I were really honest and pure of intent, I could trust the dialogue to lead me right. Well, the goddamned Sirians and their implants have poisoned the well. I no longer can trust the dialogues in my head, and when I attempt to do one, I feel self-conscious, because it is no longer a private reserve of myself interacting with my unconscious, but I have got a lot of other beings forcing themselves into my unconscious and some of them ARE BIG, FAT LIARS. I learn more by talking to people in person anyway. So, as usual, the fucking aliens have taken more than they have given.
In a way it doesn't matter, because I am not able to function very well. I continue to be on very high estrogen, and I know because now I am not only suffering from the mucous mouth and extreme autism that it causes, but even worse, my breasts are now seriously tender and painful (recognize this from birth control pills too). It is even worse than before, because my small, round mounds on the strong pec muscled breastbone that I was proud to carry before, have been replaced with long, droopy fat blobs of udder teats, and they are goddamned painful. They smell like milk too, so that I literally can not stand my own smell. I do not like the smell of heavy testosterone, but I hate the smell of heavy female hormones even more. There is nothing I can do about it. I take testosterone, but the Sirians and their henchmen are able to tamper with it, and while I would rather be a man than a miserable autistic female, going through a gender change would take a lot of learning effort, and I got too much to do than go through all that hassle. Even now, I am having to learn to modulate my voice because it is booming out. I am used to getting excited and raising my voice, but now it is too loud, and I STILL CRAVE MORE TESTOSTERONE THAN WHAT I AM TAKING.
I want to be me again, happy and energetic, and able to interact with reality in an intense way. I talked to my mom today, and I could tell (but she couldn't), that I was only half aware of the conversation. It is one of my gifts when I am healthy, that I can focus completely on what someone is saying, instead of being bored and distracted (I was playing Solitaire the entire time I talked to my mother and had difficulty initiating any conversation). Because my mother is only half aware of reality herself, I am sure she had no problem leading my brain dead cells around in a moribund, lifeless conversation. Sad, but true--even sadder is the thought that this is what my future is going to be like. I know that as long as this estrogen is so high, that I am going to be severely handicapped because not only in my relations with others am I barely functional, but even in my own private life, I am not able to pursue anything with ambition or zest or joy--just keep forcing myself to plug along.

Then there is the great future that the Sirians and their Vatican stenchmen have in mind for me. Check out this link:
http://compare.ebay.com/like/250746242754?var=lv<yp=AllFixedPriceItemTypes&var=sbar&rvr_id=230852872837&crlp=1_263602_309572&UA=WXI7&GUID=7955386112c0a0aad217e8d7fe89f7d1&itemid=250746242754&ff4=263602_309572

This is what my body has been mutilated to resemble--the goddess Ishtar. They have chopped away all my back and torso, and forced all the flesh into the cow boobs--another occult goddess--Hathor, the cow goddess. Maybe now my depression becomes more understandable--if not, let me assure you I am in constant pain every day from where they cut on me. Being Christian, I don't know what is worse--being made into a mutilated caricature of a pagan snake goddess, or being mutilated from a hermaproditic ADAM (androgynous human--male and female), into having my ribs taken out and turned from a model of wholeness to a mutilated model to converse with Satan and lead the world to sin. Needless to repeat, I won't cooperate, but the Sirians don't listen. Even at night, they are pumping their damned shit in my head. They are so fucking stupid, they don't understand they have destroyed the intellectual and spiritual and self esteem gifts which made me creative in the first place. I am much too autistic to relate to reality. But I keep playing out the game--go to bed now. I don't know what the fuck to take for these painful breasts---they are much worse than anything I have ever experienced.