Another morning I wake up groaning

Another morning I wake up groaning--groaning from feeling so bad, like shit. After a nite in which I had to take multiple pills and alcohol to sleep because my cdentral nervous system was jolted awake every three or four minutes, I think all my suffering may just be caused by psychotropic drugs. Ive been here before, God knows ive been here before, dozens of times. ive spent countless nites unable to sleep, in a blasted mental psychotic alienation state, while every few minutes a brain rush jolting my entire nervous system/body woke me up. ive woke up groaning so many times, wishing to God i could just sleep rather than get up and face a hell day in an unresponsvie drugged up body. ive woke up with muscle and joints spasming, my eyes frozen, wishing to God i could sleep because i feel so bad that it is better to escape reality than live in it. i ve seen the same old shit in my eyes before. litany could go on and on. nothing i can do about it but record it. too sick to do anything of value or effort. it is going to be another day wheni cant do anything but watch tv and pray for death.