Friday, July 30, 2010

well i was wrong

well i was wrong--forces of evil continue to impact body. cant stop crying from physical pain, and mental depression suffering and anguish. think im on some kind of puschotropic. leaves me drugged. barely able to move. because i cant move i cant exercise and now my bad back and spine is complaining loudly they arent getting exercise. cant even stretch them out. dont know if im ever going to be able to exercicse again. over two weeks. so fucked up. so lifeless. no energy. just pain. on top of that i think ive got a kidney infection and that may be part of pain. im not able to pee, even tho im drinking lots of water. there is no urine. im wondering im going to have chronic kidney problems for rest of my life because those goddamned fucking pigs messed with inner plumbing when they castrated me. i may end up going to hsopital. i know there is nothing i can do for kidney infection pain. then there is the drugs. i cry and cry overhopelessness of situation. i pray for death. release. something sanything. jsut no mars, no tme travellign. no astral planing. i prefer death. how much suffering can one person take before they die. seems all i do is suffer in pain and pssychotlogical chemical torture. brain is rushing again. will take major drugs alcohol to try to sleep. Pain. Pain. Pain. God end my misery. please endmy misery.

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