Wish I were drug free

Wish I were drug free. I continue to detox the heavy metals, but I still drag all the time---on depakote i think, but maybe something else. it makes it so hard to sleep, so hard to wake up, and so hard to get up and moving. Everything is just so much harder. On top of that, the drugs are causing serious pressure on my optic nerve. I can tell. I truly believe that my optic nerve was getting better, but whatever psychotropic drug I'm on is putting tremendous pressure on the eye. But whatever happens, happens. I am not undergoing surgery and I no longer am under opthamological care as my doctor is pissed off at me. I really like her, and consider her to be the only dr. I can trust, but like everyone else in my life she is under tremendous pressure to maintain the lie while the religiuosu right continues to wait for me to be a celibate saint. Fuckers don't get it. Timelines change. Healthy people adjust. I am not the same person I am in other timelines. I need help, a partner, an intimate in order to live my life and vocation to the fullest. Of course, right now, I would settle to just be drug free. The mindhas plans but my energy is just leeched out of me like a vampire by these psychotropic drugs. I got to get up and do some things. Life is so damned hard.