Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Very sick and increasingly worried

Very sick and increasingly worried. Not functional. not able to read thin watch tv. too sick to concentrate on anything. even keep eyes open. it hurts to open eyes. physically hurts. i was supposed to see dr huaman tomorrown but i canncelled because i know my vision is seriously messed up and im afraid i cant get a good visual field test or even test well for eye prescription. im tired of trying to take eye exams all drugged up. messes the results and it a waste of time and money. however, im starting to think maybe i should call more onher neruoplogical expertise. there is a large lump on the upper right of my head, kind of like when i had a concussion, except of course i havent hit my head. the swelling is all internal. im also very worried about hypothalamus. i alternate between hot flashes and feverish chills. i cant eat very much or drink very much tho im desperately thirsty. stomack just feels so very full. i keep having the involuntary body convulsions that i occasionally suffer from at nite--now all time. think something is very wrong. huaman is only dr. i trust. cant go to er. went to dr last week for pap smear and she fucking tortured me on purpose. maybe ill just lay down and die. my life isnt worth living.

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