It's official--I am being forcefed lithium

It's official--I am being forcefed lithium--or a sister poison. I am gaining dramatic weight again. recognize the pound a day syndrome. gaining weight on scale, gaining weight in my clothes (what the fuck am i going to wear in a week?). gaining weight just by my own eyesight. so fucking depressing to look down and see my belly spreading just like magic overnite, like it did for the first time aafter i was put on this poison shit. bad magic happening again and im absolutely helpless to do anything about. no appetite. no energye. miserable slug like feeling wishing for death to escape this painful fat lifeless body. and it is painful. deep deep and constant leg cramps in the muscles. along the tendons my legs feel like some kind of ripping, burning tearing muscle going on. very painful to walk even from truck to store. painful at pressure points, even as i just sit. scared to death to drink because i cant handle a pound a day, how will i handle two pounds a day> On top of that my damned truck isnt running. I figured out a while back that there is a synchronistic relationship between my truck and i. and everytime, I endure yet another round of painful, body and soul destrroying drugging, my truck goes on the fritz. I tried to see if i could fix it, but i am so sick i cant even lay flat on back much less undersatnd what I am seeing. tried to watch tv, but most of it is meanningless givberish. cant focus on what i need to focus on. too much pain to continue. dont feel welll. dont know what they fucking did to my fucking kidneys. not able to hold my pee, but for all my frequent trips to the bathroom, imm hardly peeing. incredible, insatiable thirst for water, my poor kidnesy. i think my body temperature problems are caused by the stress on them. i think i am going to suffer, sooner or later, from kidney failure. right now i dont care. i know the alt healer would say take the gut detiox to relieve stress from kidneys but im too sick to take any medicine. bought some real bread today. whats the point of paying six dollars for a loaf of gluten free bread when these goddamned fuckers are just going to put poison in my body. life aint worth living. body aint worth healing. waste of my time and money and effort.