Fourth day in a row that I have smelled sugar on my urine. While that is very bad news for my health, it was the clue that finally helped to decipher what is going on with me. I am being force fed Risperdol. Because of all the cranial and brain changes, the effects are slightly different than from when I was force fed it before, but not markedly.
I had thought that my problem was that I had too much fluid on my brain stem, because I was suffering from the "brain tumor syndrome" with severe autism, headaches, muscle weakness, and overall, a lack of contact with reality. Yep, same old shit. However, as before, while risperdol completely undermines my ability to function in reality, it satisfies the requirements of the fucking evil monsters who are force feeding it to me. Yes, once again the fucking Jesuits/Opus Dei toadies are hooking up with the Amon RA faction to try to force me into a psychosis that will enable them to trap my mind into MACHINE RA.
I am not exaggerating. Risperdol is not an anti-psychotic for me. Rather, it has the exact opposite effect, deliberately INDUCING a psychotic state of mind, and that is the satanic KaBal's agenda. There is a psychotic (or perhaps semi-psychotic, "autistic") angry child in me that they are trying to evoke, so that they can capture and own my complete personality and self. I have explained over and over again that the child-like personality that comes through in my sleep cannot be trusted to be the real me. I was an autistic child, alienated by my own brain dysfunction, from reality, and I was abused in that autistic state. My guess is that alienated, autistic child vacillates between a self-preserving desire to please, no matter the cost or lie, and an enraged, abused victim who wants revenge for the endured abuse and suffering. While the boost of testosterone in puberty gave me the ability to shuck off that autistic state, the wounded and angry autistic child is still there, unhealed, and all but unreachable, because I cannot enter into an autistic state of being without undermining my own healthy and transforming relationship to reality.
However, I have to reach that part of myself, because that is what is betraying, not only the people and agenda which I work so hard to support, but also my own freely chosen identity and self interest. I will say that it is very hard to do any kind of psychological work, when I am so sick that I am barely functioning. For I am sick to the point of incapacity with this risperdol in my system. However, I know that the drugging will not go away, and that there is nothing anyone can do to help me. I have to heal myself on my own, and especially with the risperdol making me psychotic, I have to be very careful that I don't let the unconscious semi-psychotic child within me do more damage. So I am isolating myself, which is not a very pleasant state to be in, but I have been deeply isolated before, and I pray to God to help me get through it. Yes, I will continue to stay on top of current events, so that I am sensitive to any imminent crisis, and yes, I will work further on figuring out the next big extraterrestrial event--comet Elenin, and yes, I will work on identifying and healing that angry, autistic child, and yes, I will continue to resist the KaBal wih every fiber of my being, so really I am intent on maintaining my integrity. It is just that all of these objectives are now so much harder. I am too sick to even go for a bike ride, and writing this, my arms feel so weak that I have no control over them. I can barely open my eyes, and suffer with headaches (another sure sign of the risperdol). Even watching tv is difficult, since the moving images seem to zoom at me. Of course, if the sons of bitches who are drugging me gave a damn about my health, they would recognize the dangerous counterproductive results of risperdol on my psyche. But again, their plan IS to make me psychotic, so there is no relief, until I manage to reach that autistic child aspect of my psyche on my own. So, I will be working on it, even though right now I just want to go to sleep.
Before I finish this post, however, I want to finish a possibility that I broached yesterday, regarding Angela Merkel. I had talked of how the alternative/conspiracy web sites were abuzz with rumors of her being Hitler's genetic daughter. I have done enough research to conclude that indeed, she was an adopted child, and speculated that her genetic paternity was Merovingian royalty. This morning I read that her father had passed, and started thinking on it again, and the insight hit me--her genetic father is Wilhelm Canaris, or his son.
Now Canaris is supposed to have been killed in 1945, but he wasn't. Instead, he got very involved with the sea-based Sirians, and used their technology to prolong his life abnormally, and plot the rise of the Fourth Reich from his undersea base (off the coast of Spain?) that could easily be accessed through the underground tunnels at Area 51. I am not sure if he currently is still alive, or if he has passed on the evil fight to his sons and/or lieutenants. However, there is no doubt in my mind that Canaris was/is the head of the Nazi Faction 2 contingent that has quietly been amassing power and station over the past decades, not only in Europe and the rest of the world, but here in the USA as well, having murdered FDR and JFK, and thus gaining control over the executive branch of our government.
If you look at the pictures of Canaris, you can tell that he was actually involved with the sea-based Sirians, and even plugged into MACHINE-RA from before 1945. When I was looking at photos of him to prove to my own satisfaction that he was the father of Merkel, I recognized the tell-tale signs of the MACHINE's cranial and facial manipulation of his face. So for example, he has the ears positioned abnormally high on his cranium. He has the flattened high nose bridge, and if you look at multiple pictures, you can recognize the fluid filling out his lower jowls in some photos and absent in others. Finally, there is the clear evidence that his lower jaw/chin has been elongated from his earlier years.
I know that many people like to regard Faction 2 with rose-colored lens, but they are Nazis, and they are slaves to MACHINE-RA, and their most recent actions bear this out. So, for example they were going to spray the NJ/NY area with cyanide gas, and as their mind-controlled Nazi telegrapher, Marshall Masters, claimed, it killed with the smell of "Almands". I misspell that, because not only is there a KaBal officer at McDill AFB with that name, but it means German, especially in the French language. There were a lot of occult types that emigrated into southern France in bygone centuries, but it is the same group of people that give devotion to the MACHINE--the ones that identify with the "Black sun" (Nazis), or Black Madonna (Isis), or Black Knights. They are out for world wide domination, and they are patient enough to plan decades in advance to get what they want. Needless to say, all of humanity will be enslaved if they win.
So, where does that leave Angela Merkel? I really had to check with my inner self before revealing this posting. I think that she is a decent person, and an honest leader of her people (unlike say, Guido Westerville, who I think is an undercover Nazi). Of course, I read that her father, not so coincidentally, passed away last night, no doubt to make sure that all secrets went to the grave. I am sorry for any pain to which I have inadvertently contributed, but I am compelled to speak the truth. Now, I am not compelled to share it, and so I had to think before posting this. However, there must be important issues going on in Europe for the truth to have been expressed by myself (when I started talking about it yesterday, I was only trying to bring up that my skin tone was changed last week, and now it matches Merkel's skin color). However, the truth about her genetic parentage must be important, or the KaBal would not take the action they did. I can tell the similarity between the two by looking at the lips and the hairline (of course they share the same color eyes as well). I do not wish to cause anyone, including Angela Merkel, pain. I think that she is basically a good person, and I hope that she can acknowledge the truth of her hidden origin, and possible influences, in a way that is freeing and positive for her, Germany, Europe, and all the world. Certainly, that is my hope for her. Indeed, my hope for all the world is for freedom (from reptilian and MACHINE-RA domination), and a positive, bright future.