Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I spent another night wracked in pain

I spent another night wracked in pain, as once again, stupid me, I took supplements and some vodka shots--all of which had been tainted by the dog Sirian/Agent Smith shape shifters. It all started out so hopefully. I had tried getting some OTC sulfur, and when I looked at the handout detailing all the benefits--blood sugar regulation(it helps in the creation of insulin), nail strengthening (my nails are so soft they just tear away), metabolism of protein and vitamins (I always ravenous for protein and deficient in vitamins despite my healthy eating)--I got excited. As soon as I popped a couple of tabs (1480 mg) however, I knew that they had been tainted, and the viral download was in full progress. Still, despite the autistic suffering caused by the virus, I was surprised, because somehow, I DID feel better.

However, a few hours later, the chit really hit the fan. About 7:30 a massive viral download began, and almost immediately, I was in severe physical and mental distress. My muscles were so spasmed that I found it difficult to breathe, and I was worried that I was going to have a stroke. My back muscles were in such agony that I could barely walk, except by hunching over like a ancient old lady. That was at the beginning of the pain. An hour later, it was excucricating agony just to move the body along, a few shuffled inches at a time. My legs were pracically paralyzed. Of course, it was the dog Sirians/Jesuits behind this massive downloads. All night lightning was lighting up my darkened bedroom. I guess I can figure out how I became crippled in another timeline--the fucking dog Sirians literally fried out all my nerves and muscles with a viral download.
Kundalini energy is a very potent and dangerous force. It has literally caused back damage in more than one practicioner. My body is resisting the Kundalini energy for a reason--my autistic brain cannot stand the jolt, and the brain is trying desperately to protect itself by sacrificing the body. For the level of pain and agony I experienced last night reminded me of the screaming agony I suffered after undergoing acupuncture treatment. Yes, the acupuncture worked, and it opened my meridians, and I was feeling great, vital and physically responsive in an almost forgotten way. Then the virus hit, flowing through all the opened meridians, that my body had instinctively closed down to try to protect itself, and I nearly went out of my mind with pain and spasms. The sulfur is like the acupuncture--yes, it restores my body to a level of health I rarely experience, but it also opens the door for the virus to race down the bodily pathways to the brain WHICH CANNOT HANDLE THE VIRAL DOWNLOAD/KUNDALINI ENERGY because of an autistic brain stem and an excessive level of glial cells, also caused by autism. No amount of drugs is going to change my autistic brain structure. No amount of cranial manipulation is going to change my autistic brain structure. These dog Sirians/Jesuits don't care. They think if I end up in a wheelchair, I am going to become some kind of deeply loving, highly compassionate saint. BULLSHIT, FUCK THAT MOTHERFUCKERS. From my wheelchair, I will fight you and your goddamned sickass, warped religionist, mind-controlled patriarchal lies with everything at my disposal. One way or another, I will fulfill my destiny, and guess what? It has nothing to do with supporting your vision of reality, or being crippled for the rest of my life. I will figure out how to heal and save myself, just as I have done my entire life. I've already experienced your vision of me AND I DESPISE IT AND REJECT IT WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING.

As for today, there is nothing much I can do. I think they put another implant in my stomach which is causing the brain/body rushes which drive me crazy. Last night in my desperation to knock out, to escape the pain, I ended up taking 4 Tylenol PM, a vicodin, a fiornal, and about 4 shots of vodka, which instead of providing the needed knock out punch, had me climbing walls. Stupid me--even the goddamned voka was tampered with. You stupid fucks, I don't drink recreationally. I drink because I am desperate to knock out, and instead you just use it to torture me further. Well I just took a detox pill (Chorella) that I bought yesterday. I think that is okay--my body is so spasmed and locked that I can barely sit unsupported, and my brain is fucked with virus, but I am going to go watch some vids in a minute, forcing myself away from the bed and heating pad on which I have lain all morning long.

I cannot handle another night like last night.

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