Fucked again

Fucked again by KaBalist. So fucked up on the goddamned virus can barelyu keep eyes open. body, esp legs are crawling. realize now that the stupidass pricks WANT me to be autistic. its how they can get the MACHINE in to take over my individuality and turn me into a drone (im mycase, maybe a queen) of hive consciousness.

what can I do? I have to eat. they put the fucking virus in my groceries again.. soon as i eat, my body starts vibrating, start slapping head, and legs feel like they are crawling with bugs.

Furious. enrgaged, words cant describe how fucked up a feeling autism is. Yet DaBal sirians keep looking for a magical drug to get me to do their will. there is no drug that will work, there is no amount of mutilations that will do it. I keep saying over and over again. I need a safe and accepting environment before I consent to any kind of "Ascension". until that happens you fuckers can't force me to do anything. BECAUSE I INTEND TO RESIST WITH EVERY OUNCE OF MY WILLPOWER. stupidasses you never learn. over a dozen years ago, i told the monks at the monastery the very same thing i am telling you, but the piece of shit priest just smiled at me patronizingly, knowing what i did not--that within a week i would be in jail, thanks to them and their big buddies.

A while back i saw a movie, and in movie,,, I knew that i would not arrive to my destination that others wanted me to go until i got to Indian st. Now, i know astral happening s had something to do with that. but at time, i interpreted it tow ways. one, was need to get back to ab ORIGINAL state---either to full expression of God's plan for me as XY male, or back to a place where i feel good and happy about body. other positibiliyt is that i need to go the route of spiritual discipline--contemplation and yoga---cannot do that when i am so fucked up on drugs that i can barelyh fucntion .

Pissed off at myself. once again, i let myself be fooled by thiese piece of shit KaBalists.. have to go to bed. too fucked up to do anytihng else. another 80 dollars down the fucking toilet.