My internet went dead for a few hours today, but it was okay, because the little I did manage to read before it happened, assured me that all is well with the world. Really ok, of which I am so grateful and relieved, even if I know there are still major battles ahead.
Actually, I think my internet was "crashed" by my friendly neighbor. My brain is working differently than normal. I find that I am struggling to write this--my verbal skills seem to be even more negatively impacted than usual. Also, I am not hearing music like I normally do. I know my experience may be unique, but usually I am capable of listening to music with one half of my brain, while the other half writes or reads. When I hear a really excellent or well-crafted song, I will stop and put all my attention on it, and hear every note and nuance. Well, I rarely listen to music like that, because there is too much on my "to do" list. So, this morning when I went to turn on an oldies/pop station that I expected to provide background melody, while I engaged my dominant attention on my morning read, I was surprised to find that I couldn't "split" my brain. Instead, I wanted to completely focus solely on the music.
Unfortunately, I think I nearly ended plugged into the MACHINE's vibrations. As a Christian engaged in traditional worship and prayer, it has been a hard lesson to learn that transcendent prayer opens the petitioner wide open to being frequency hacked by malevolent entitites. I used to have a Mahalia Jackson Christmas CD, and every Christmas that I listened to that CD, I would be gripped by the religious ecstasy that some might call "transcendent prayer". However, I now know that "transcendent prayer", made me a marked target--for the MACHINE, which actually enjoys the vicarious experience of religious ecstasy, when IT can hack a devotee's brain.
My brain is so hard-wired with its viral nano-technology, and so coveted by the MACHINE(s)--actually there are two separate ones, with separate agendas and MO's), and KaBal minions that it is a miracle that I am still standing free. However, I increasingly find myself in the danger zone. Yesterday, I think I actually lost a little bit of time, while I went into a brief unconscious reverie. Again, one of my friendly neighbors drew me out of it.
The really sad thing was that I was not engaged in any high risk behavior. I was sitting outside, smoking a cigarette, enjoying the unseasonably warm weather and the budding trees. I have learned not to engage in acts of trascendent spiritual gratitde, but rather, more inner and holistic spiritual expression. However, it wasn't the prayer that sent me over the edge. It was the testosterone which I had taken, which yes, made me feel a lot better, but also really kicked a viral wallop into my bloodstream. Also, the cigarette de-oxygenated me further. I didn't realize it, but I WAS in need of oxygen.
Then I remembered a post I had read earlier that morning of how anaerobic and aerobic bacteria could thrive together in the deep ocean (and I will refrain from a full blown explanation of what I think that means--my brain is struggling to think in an organized manner), and I got it. This virus of Amon-RA is anaerobic--oxygen kills it. So, I started hyperventilating, and doing deep "breaths of fire" and "alternative nostril breathing" (yoga techniques). Wow--what a difference, it made--finally I could understand why light but sustained exercise (years ago--lengthy walks on the treadmill, but now only bike rides), make me feel so much better. I am not getting the joy of real exercise or the rush of brain dopamine, but I am breathing deeper, and killing the goddamned parasitical spiders. Actually, I got the idea from "The Andromeda Strain", a movie about a meteorite which crashes to the Earth with an alive, yet completely alien (no proteins) micro-rganism on it that is lethal, and which the military is hoping to harness into a biological weapon. Like I always say, the artists are always a step ahead of the good guys--BUT one step behind the KaBal, which often "feeds" the ideas to them via secret societies or conventional apparatus of the trade--pitches, essays, think tanks, etc.
However, there are no easy fixes or responses. Therefore, even though I intend to do deeper and more aware breathing, I never forget that every facet of reality has been probed by the MACHINE(s) for weakness. So, I was disappointed to read of the negative press that it has been getting lately--stories that focus on injuries (really, extremely rare), and then the vicious murder committed in a yoga clothing store, by an employee. Now, yoga was what saved me, years ago, from the premature MS/ALS now wracking my body, as I struggled to deal with the unnamed virus that started sapping my vitality over 15 years ago. It also is a legitimate spiritual practice of meditation, even though it freaks out some fundamentalist Christians. However, like transcendent prayer, which also is a legitimate spiritual practice, I think it is being increasingly targeted by the MACHINE(s). Both the murderer and the victim looked like they had the virus. I think the murderer was undergoing nightly abduction, cranial manipulation, and had the goddamned parasites in her brain driving her insane. I think that unconscoiously she identified her co-worker as being more cooperating with the MACHINE, and stabbed her 330 times.
As an aside, I hope that if and when the MACHINE(s) are neutralized, a few years from now, a process is set up to determine how many of these insanely violent victims of Amon-RA who committed murder, while driven temporarily insane by the implants, may be placed on a rehabilitative track, with prudent prejudice to public safety concerns.
However, the real point that I want to make is that personal transcendent prayer, the gospel voice of Mahalia Jackson, the liturgy of the Mass, or yoga, all are fine, outstanding examples of the natural spiritual impulse of gratitude of the finite creature to the Creator--and they ARE ALL CAPABLE OF BEING HACKED. I am not proposing the abolition of anything that the Creator can hack--that is the error of fundamentalism, and in all its forms and denominations, it leaves the spiritual nature of humans either immature at best, or crippled and deformed, at worst. For the truth is, that there is practically no facet of our reality, that cannot be hacked--even the food we eat, the water we drink, and the air we breathe can be hacked by the MACHINE(s) virus. Indeed, as I write this, it is already happening--the genetically modified seeds of Monsanto, the pollution of the air by petrochemical carbons, and the damaging fluoride (makes populations docile) in our water.
So, since I, like the "Son of Man, come eating and drinking...a gluttonous man and 'winebibber'"; because I tend to have anxiety attacks when I can't breathe; since it is my nature to burst out in joy, gratitude, and spiritual praise, I MUST find a positive way to circumvent the hack.
I no that I am not there yet, but I am working on it. In the meantime, I have to stay loose, alert and alive. I can say that my brain is working more normally now--I am able to listen to music, instead of being enraptured by it. I think the brain synchs more with the MACHINE at night, in my sleep, and therefore am going to have to be really careful about what I do first thing in the morning. I don't think the drug that I am on is helpful. I am supposed to have an MRI of my brain next week, but I know that is because aliens (good or bad?) want to see my brainstem, to make me less autistic and more responsive to the unplugged world that they can move in, but which I can only visit astrally. However, I am terrified that it would leave me even more open to the machinations of the MACHINE(s). I think if I can hold on just a little longer, I will be okay. In the meantime, one last peevish note--I think I need some vitamin B12. I think that vitamin deficiency may be causing my stomach pain when I eat (or the drugs). There is no point in trying to buy it, because as soon as I thought of it, all the Amon-RA vampires in this town just went to zap every high-quality bottle in town. They did it with the testosterone, the did it with the fish oil I sought to buy, and they can do it with B12.