Saturday, January 7, 2012

I am suffering from heart pains

I am suffering from heart pains--I don't know if it is the goddamned virus, or legitimate problems with my heart. I am unable to exercise, and the fucking virus causes my blood pressure to go sky high. Most of the time, I am walking around with severely high blood pressure.

I went to dr. and bp was 160 over 90. I always used to have 120 over 80. I used to be physically fit, energetic and happy. Now, I am a physical wreck, barely able to move, and on top of everything else, I am suffering from heart pain. The dr. prescribed naxproxen and also temazapam, which used to be the "sweetest" drug I ever took, because it made my natural insomnia totally disappear. Now my insomnia is completely UNnatural, and even more hellishly worse and painful than I could have even imagined 10 years ago, when I used to pray for sleep.

Of course, the drugs are contaminated, but there is nothing I can do about that. I have to hope that somehow they still will be efficacious. Instead, they are giving me heart pain, and the 15 mg of tempazapam has me going out of my mind with autistic, semi-psychotic rage. In short, the drugs cannot alter the damage that the fucking nano-virus on them do. Tempazapam used to take away my anxiety; now my legs feel like they are crawling with bugs, I am pounding my head, my blood pressure is skyrocketing (I can always tell by the facial flush), and i feel like i am going out of my mind. This is medicine--dog sirian style. its ok. fucking assholes will never get anything out of me but a destroyed body. maybe tempazapam is working, because i feel quite calm about this resolution---fucking assholes will never get shit out of me. as a matter of fact, tomorrow, I will start venting spleen again. right now, got to go take the only alcohol i have in house-- a couple of gin to say that as the fucking viral cytokine storm wears off, i do feel a little calmer, but not calm enough. alcohol, here i come.

no way i am going to doctor for heart pains. will know if i have heart attack, but cannot bear the thought of some nazi pig touching my mutilated chest and fake cow boobs. disgusts me beyond belief.

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