Figured out

Figured out what the planet I saw on wednesday nite was--planet x or nibiru or whatever it is called, dont know. too sick to research it. apparently it is linked to the whale species. and it can cause massive devastation on this planet if it gets into the right orbit. so why was i dreaming of piloting a ship near that planet. i can only surmise that the dark side is trying to force the catastrophic orbit, and the good guys are trying to prevent it. that is why the Jesuits (who are as dark and evil as satan) try to kidnap me, or abduct me and fail. that is why the good guys try to abduct me and succeed. i am giving unconcscious consent to the good guys in my dreams, but not to the hell that my body is going thru. My muscles are so locked it is becoming near impossible to clean myself after toilet, which considering that I am suffering from implants in the rectum which i think were put their by jesuits as a prep to anally rape me, that i am miserable. but it is the facial and tmj pain that has got me crying in agony--way too much fluid on my face way too much fluid, i cannot tell what of the pain is excess fluid and tmj and which is the tooth filling that is lost. it is holiday and even tho i have no way to pay for dental work except to pput it on a card that i am beginning to realize that soon i will have to default on, i still dont want to ruin the dentist holiday. that means i have to hold out to tuesday--2 days away. dont know if i can. the fucking thing that really pisses me off is that these people who abduct me (and dale when i saw her, was informed), knew that they had knocked out a filling. if they treated me like a human being instead of a slave, they would have told me so i wouldnt be suffering in this hellish misery this weeknd. instead they keep doing the same old shit over and over again hoping for a different outcome. i am so sick and nonfucntional that i can barely move. i have told them over and over again, and proved it, that the excess estrogen is the cause, but they dont care--determinined to have me turn into reptile slave, and they want it feminine, so they force the estrogen on me which is killing me. too sick to even care about my body.

stupid motherfuckers dont get it. that i am at most productive and creative when i act of free will. think wedesday nite i joined the fight because i was sleepin my my pickup and looking up at stars. silly, but i still have romantic notions about stars in the sky. i will never be 100% as long as i am so sick i sleep until noon, and can barely fucntiiocn. too sick ofr aything. just need agony to be over with, and this life, too. ill help fight the damened planet x. then let me die. the hell that is my life is unbearable.