Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Good news and bad news.

Good news and bad news. The good news is that I think I was right about the phosphoipids and sulfolipids. My right eye is looking much better. It still is not normal, or its equal in brightness to my surgically repaired left eye, but it looks so much lighter and better--gone is the dense, dead eye look. I still am suffering from intercellular buildup, especially at night when the viral download in my brain is heaviest. I know, because if I rub my left eye, I can tell how impacted the optic nerve is by the excess fluid. However, this optic nerve swelling impacting my vision now only happens when the viral download is the most heavy, not 24/7 swelling as has been the case for years now. After years of worrying about this right eye, this is a relief!

Having said that, I am dismayed and handicapped by ongoing psychotropic drugging. It may just be depakote (I know that my dreams are disturbed and far away, which is what happens on depakote). This drugging is not only impacting my energy level, making life sluggish and difficult, and leading to the familiar compulsive-obsessive mental loops of autism, but also it prevents me from my normal feeling response to life. I can always tell by my response to music and other people--deadened in the first case, and anti-social in the second case. My eyes are starting to shut involuntarily, so the autism response must be increasing. Time to get away from the computer--the EMF from the computer worsens this autism...

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