Monday, August 15, 2011

Going out of my mind with pain and rage

Going out of my mind with pain and rage. Lost day yesterday. spent all day sleeping. didnt even eat a meal, but snacked on crackers, pieces of meat all day. too sick to even prepare simplest of meal. at some pointlast nite, i pulled a popsicle out to suck on (im always overheating), but found this morning that the entire popsicle had melted all over my sheet. i had fallen asleep before i could eat it! i barely remembered getting it.

then when i woke up this morning, knew by touching my face, something very wrong. mutilations done on me last nite by the fucking Sirian bastards who make my life hell.l GUESS WHAT, ASSHOLES--DOGS OR CATS--I WANT NOTYHING TO DO WITH FUCKING ANY OF YOU

in addition to cutting all over my body--no doubt in honor of their queen, Isis, whose feast day is celebrated today, under the auspices of "The 'Ascension' of Mary", they cut muscle out of me from every part of my body. It fills me with disgust to see my body transformed into one of those skinny pipsqueaks. I literally cannot bear to look at or touch any part of my body, I am filled with so much loathing at what those sons of fucking bitches have done to me.

Then I look in the mirror and see the frankenstein effect that they have done to my head, pulling it out, into an elongated rectagular shape, while leaving my lower face smashed in. Disgusted beyond belief. I am filled with fluid that is driving me out of my mind with pain, not only in my head, but in my face. I cannot shut my jaws, because the manipulated bite is so abnormal that the jaws cannot rest there. I am so severely autistic that I am not in reality. I tried to read my "morning paper" this morning, and I am so fucked up that i cant even read--words make no sense.

living like this is not bearable. i am not functional. iwas supposed to shop yesterday, but too sick. dont think i can do it today, either. dont even know how i am going to get into shower, to take shower. totally fucked up--all in honor of Queen Isis!!! LNFAO. Kudos to your goddamned piece of shit queen, Sirians--nothing like worshipping an idol, whose sole claim is to destroy the beauty, value and esteem of sentient beings. you can fucking do whatever you want to to me. i aint going anywhere with you, under any circumstanteces. FUCKING NEVER, YOU FUCKING PIGS!

dont know how i ma going to get thru day. one step at time.

ps--just remembered my dream from last nite. dreamed that in my house, there were all these different pdople--and in my dream i knew that these were all different aspects of me, and that it was not a healthy thing, but that my whole self was deliberately being splintered into multiple personalities.


Have to hold on to self, even as fucked up as i am--driving people insane thru personality disassociation and multiple personality fragmentation are their trademark tools in trade for complete mind control. have to fight back, no matter how fucked up i am...

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