Woke up in severe pain

Woke up in severe pain after another night of invasive mutilations--cutting on my rib cage (what is left of it) and back. Of course it was the goddamned Sirians, who in their unbelievably arrogant stupidity and controlling hubris, actually think I am going to be an avatar for them. YOU MOTHERFUCKERS COULDN'T BE MORE WRONG--I DESPISE YOUR YOUR WORLDVIEW, YOUR CONTROLLING TACTICS, AND THE MUTILATED, MUSCLELESS MESS YOU HAVE MADE OF MY ONCE BEAUTIFUL BODY!!

So how does this shit happen? The question really is, when has it not happened? Various factions of aliens have been involved in the manipulation of human being since "The Fall". They have used mind control religion, which includes nearly every religion on the planet, to keep us in an ideological slavery of dualism and lies, which pervert a true understanding of, and relationship to, reality.

There have always been a few individuals who have successfully risen above this dualism, and we worship and/or venerate them, but ultimately their words, teachings, and witness are compromised as well. Of course, for me as a Christian, the penultimate witness to the Truth is Jesus Christ, but I recognize now that even Jesus had to deal with meddling and counterproductive alien entities. I now realize that, just like me, everyone wanted a "piece" of Jesus, to appropriate his words and Presence to suit their alien agenda. Because he was reared in Galilee, where the Sirians and the cult of RA had been omnipresent for centuries, no doubt he was tapped and tagged, early on in his adult life, as a potential avatar to be used and exploited for the purpose of renewing the mind control elements of his religion. One major difference between Jesus and myself is that I think that he had a much more agreeable and emotionally intelligent personality. Thus, I think he was able to accommodate the Sirians/cult of RA understanding and expectations of his mission, all the while hewing to his Father's will. But there came a point where there was an irreconcilable difference between his Father's will and the alien agenda, and that is the point where Jesus "set his face to Jerusalem" knowing that he would meet a prophet's death.

You see, the ancient mythological concept of the Greek gods actually is a more accurate reflection of the role and behavior of these powerful and interfering aliens play in humanity's lives, than the kool-aid drinking notion of "benevolent space brothers". You see these aliens/gods/watchers are morally not much different than us humans. They have their small, chauvinistic mindsets and petty agendas that they wish to push, and they quarrel and war incessantly among themselves to institute them. There are various alien factions which jealously guard and appropriate the gene pools on Earth, with which they intervened through infusion of their own DNA, and like dysfunctional parents, they insist on strictly controlling the destiny of their DNA "offspring". That is, our lives are not our own, but belong to them.

As I said, I think for three years, Jesus tried to accommodate both the alien agenda and his Father's will, but the breaking point came when he refused to become a worldly king. You see the Sirians/RA wanted THEIR progeny, specifically the northern tribes of Israel, and to a lesser extent, the southern tribes, to be RULERS OF THE WORLD. Why? Because of an immature chauvinism, of "I'm better than you, because "my pet dog--or cat--can beat your DNA-related pet animal. However, the Romans were the kingpins at that time, and given that Rome has reptiles underneath the city (or did until recently), I think it fair to say, that the reptilians were their Patrons/Watchers. The Sirians/Ra had everything in place--the ark and other ancient artifacts were in hidden position. They had insinuated to that reprobate, Herod, to build a new temple on the power vortex spot. All that was needed was for a spiritually powerful person to use them, in order to dominate all the world around him. Before Jesus was recognized as the Chosen One by the spiritually aware of Israel, the aliens had tagged him as the "Chosen One". To make sure that he complied with expectations, Jesus had placed among his disciples, people who were more amenable to alien prodding, if not downright agents of the Sirians, prominent among them, the Zealots, who were as zealous to become as politically dominant as the aliens themselves longed for dominance in their interdimensional circle. Now, Jesus, being the astute judge of character that he was, probably knew what was transpiring around him, but being a spiritual man, he always hoped for the best, and thought that preaching of his Father's reality, transformation and conversion would save, not only him, but all of Israel. It didn't, and the gap between his Father's will and the Sirians agenda eventually grew wider and wider, until there was a definitive split, and that was when the Zealots, Essenes, and Judas turned against their rabbi, and hateful animus was built up and manipulated in a lightning strike of reversal, so that he was tortured and crucified.

Now, I have found myself tagged, "the Chosen one", but unlike Jesus, I do not have the sociable charm or gentle nature to accommodate those who will not accept the fullness of my person and beliefs. I am crucified NOW, because I am not emotionally intelligent enough to reach some mutually acceptable understanding between my own vision of who I am, and the Father's will for me, vis a vis the expectations of the aliens, and various human agents--some of whom are firmly in the alien camp, and some of whom are just psychologically and spiritually immature, and are looking for a "Chosen One" to lead them to political dominance.

Of course, a big part of my problem is my lesbianism. As long as I am in a female body, I will remain lesbian, and if I ever find myself in a male body (and God, I hope I do), I will still respect my lesbian past, and will honor and acknowledge the validity of homosexual relationships, as long as they correspond to the same standards of morality I expect from heterosexual couples. I could always be like the Apostle Paul (who I have some connection to), and hate my homosexuality, but I know that is a dead end trap, and I won't make that mistake again.

Another complicating factor is the sheer diversity of my genome. I don't have just ONE alien faction that can claim genetic origin--I have SEVERAL! As a matter of fact, I wonder if I carry the genes of every alien faction that ever interfered with humanity's DNA! This is not a gift, so much as a curse, for now I have multiple alien factions fighting over me, all claiming me to be a "chosen one", an avatar for their clique--again, not because of God's will or humanity's best interest, but because they want their prized pet to win first place at the show! So, whether it is the dog-related Sirians, the cat-related Sirians, or the reptilian-Sirian hybrids, the entire Sirian complex want me as an Isis, which is why they are the ones mutilating my body. (Isis is the ancient goddess associated with Sirius). The reptilians want me as a powerless Osiris. Both of these groupings would like to see me as nun in the Catholic church, for this is one way of ensuring both creative powerlessness, and an acceptably nurturing Big-Teated mummy for all the dependent boys and girls who refuse to take responsibility for their own salvation.

There is a strong occult faction that wants to see me as Isis because they long for a New World Order in which Europe, with the spiritual capital in Jerusalem (and guess what will be the prime fixture of the planned third temple? You guessed it--an artifact of immense power that just needs a powerful person of spirit to activate it). Their view is more pagan than Christian, but again, I have to meet certain criteria in order to meet their expectations. In their mindset, the lesbianism has to be repudiated, for who is going to follow an avatar who is REAL, and true to herself. Of course, they wouldn't mind me having lesbian flings, as long as it is all in the closet. This occult clique also wants me assimilated into the MACHINE, so that the words of RA come out of my mouth, and RA once again, more directly rules this planet.

Then there are those of the Bilderberger society (see my recent dream), who want me as an avatar for China. Apparently, I have another deep, unconscious connection to the Buddha, and that is the mind and witness these Bilderbergers hope to exploit in me. Now, Maurice Strong is at the head of this particular faction. Now why do they want/need me as a Buddha-like avatar? Because they want China to be the new dominant world power, but China lacks one element that all great world powers have--a strong mind control religion.

As an undergrad, I read a lot of sociology of religion (Durkheim), and history of religion (Christopher Dawson), that convinced me, quite objectively and apart from confessional beliefs, that religion (typically, an "empire" religion) is a prerequisite for the release of large-scale, unconscious creativity found in all the great civilizations of the world. Now, while I believe that this is true, I believe that humanity finally has a chance to step into a more mature religion or spirituality, which not only releases the freedom and creativity of the unconscious, but does so without the mind control features that ensure psychological immaturity and dependence. However the Bilderbergers are specifically looking for that "old-time religion". They want a population that is fear-filled and psychologically dependent. They desperately want China to be the next great world civilization, but it needs a strong empire religion, for China's main religion is Confucianism, which is a very limited religion of tradition, based on ancestor veneration, and already it has lost hold over the urban population. They want a new "Buddha" (Eastern avatar), whose words and witness they can use to mold into a new empire religion to inspire and feed the Chinese masses.

Who has a hand in all of these possible scenarios--the Jesuits, and maybe, the Bilderbergers. They literally do not care if I am a new Isis, a castrated Osiris, or a "buddha", for they can use me either way to further their mind-control agenda, and ensure that humanity stays dependent and duped for another 26,000 years. Well, I cannot allow that to happen, at least not under my name and witness. Insofar as I am the "chosen one", it will be to reject all mind control and abusive religions. I do not know if I will ever be free enough to state what I truly believe, instead of trying to think and write, when I am sick and in pain from the constant downloads and drugs, but I know what I am NOT, and I will proclaim that as long as I draw breath.

Now, I have to get up and try to take a shower, when I can barely hold myself upright...such is the lot of the "chosen one".