Saturday, August 20, 2011

Same old shit..over and over

Same old shit..over and over. I don't know if my previous post about being drugged with lithium made it through, but I proved beyond a doubt that I was on lithium with my alcohol consumption test. So, they (I assume it is the military this time, or perhaps the damned Jesuits are still involved), just did the same old same old. Lithium didnt work--let's give her another drug. It hit me last night, with a migraine, nausea and pain so bad that I got up in the middle of the night to take both fiornal and vicodin. Funny thing--vicodin gave me a slightly euphoric feeling which I never experience at all, but then who knows what is going on. My brain is nothing but a big lab experiment for all the aliens and occult humans involved, and they HAVE FUCKED ME UP BEYOND ALL REPAIR. Anyway, I was so drugged on whatever I am on, that I could barely move all day. Worse than that the low energy caused by the high estrogen/low testosterone has me barely able to read or watch tv. I am not full of rage as I was yesterday (it was always lithium that gave mood swings). I just don't care or give a fuck about anything. When I started bumping into walls, because I literally could not walk straight in my little house, then I popped four more T-tabs (making a total of 8 on the far), and it gave me the energy just to hold my head up, and write this post, but not much more. I just am so depressed and dragging that I can barely function, which is not a good place to be.

I see that the military raided a surplus store in Las Vegas. They were from Nellis AFB--a home base of the negative Tall Whites and a multitude of Nazis. Almost certainly there was alien technology and perhaps chemical weapons for a future terrorist event being stored there. I was a little surprised that I was able to read the military (not the civilian--apparently he's gone for good) Sorcha Faal post about it, but a little glad, too. For I fear a chemical/biological attack, and worry that with the military in shut down and control mode of information, I won't be able to get the info I need to stay ahead of the evil curve.

Nevertheless, I am SO relieved Israel apologized to Egypt--maybe because it is that I am so depressed, but I just feel that the world is in a bad cycle, and we just got to try to get through it without starting a domino-effect conflagration of a war, and especially a war that is based on irrational prejudices and hatreds. Maybe things can change, if we can just hold on. I don't know. As I said, I am not in a good place emotionally myself right now, being so drugged, and once again, being controlled and dominated by people and aliens who won't accept my free will and choices, not to mention being in a body that can barely walk (knees all cut up) or exercise after all the mutilations and damage.

Because of the crisis that this country and humanity is in, I do not have the luxury of living my convictions, and refusing to cooperate with my controllers, for it is not just about me. Clearly, we share a majority of the same overriding and imperative objectives, just not the same values. So, as always, I will do my best. It is just that my quality of life is so low that life, for me, isn't worth living. Some stupidass patriarch somewhere probably thinks that is a good thing and will throw me into the arms of conversion and God. PFFTTTTT!! I have said over and over what I need to live a spiritual life, but the patriarchs and controllers don't want to hear it, because it doesn't fit into their preconceived binary notions.

Too sick to go over and over and over it again. Today, I am not angry--just clearlyh resolved to keep my boundaries intact, and to avoid all interdimensional travelling. Of course, I cannot help what my unconscious does, and I think the last time I went on an interdimensional trip of my own volition, was because I knew that I needed to clear out a few evil monsters, and didn't trust anyone to help me, so I did it on my own. My "big brother" guardian angel, came after me, and gave me a drubbing for my impertinence which didn't bother me (psychologically, I am a patriarchal male, and accept discipline). However, I am not so sure that "big brother" really has my best interests at heart, but rather wants an Isis avatar, so I will just steer clear--very easy to do, when I am this drugged...

No comments: