Tuesday, May 8, 2012

It has been a crazy day for me

It has been a crazy day for me, as I have gone nuts trying to figure out what was happening personally and in the current events near terrorist attack in Chicago. I think I finally figured things out, but not before making a serious mistake in my previous post. Events are moving so fast that I no longer have the luxury to think on things. I usually do not get everything right with my first or second or third hypothesis. It takes a while. For example, when Obama was in Afghanistan, going forward to meet his bogus "death", I wondered if the Patriots were the ones behind the big setup, as they hoped to remove him from all possibility of being used by these ET factions who glom onto his weak, Manchurian,puppet self, like a magnet. I think that unconsciously I knew what was going on, and psychics actually honed in on that, but if I had written my original suspicion, I would have been WRONG. After thinking on it for a couple of days, I finally got it right, CONSCIOUSLY.

PS--No sooner do I go to sleep than I am bothered by the spiritual consciousness of an evil spirit--Watcher, I think. She still is very messed up, and she would love nothing more than to sow discord between PF and myself. Someone has put the etheric access port back into my sacrum so it is going to be a difficult night.

Also, I wanted to say that I have not precluded the possibility that while some of the "good" dog Sirians may be trustworthy, it is very possible that some of them "flipped" or had evil intent. I can't say for sure, so I will give them the benefit of the doubt. However, it is very possible that once again I was set up to be betrayed, and that is what caused the intense anger....time will tell--I just have to sit on it long enough.

However, today, there was no time to ponder anything. I knew something urgent was going on, and worse, I woke up with a "demon nipping at my heels", so I couldn't figure out if the urgency was real or just neurotic--which was driving me crazy. I hate not knowing if I am wound up for real, or wound up because somebody is twisting my "play me" button.

Well, I have figured out that once again, I am host to that mighty evil spirit that I stole from Maurice Strong's sphere of influence, and got rid of when it decided to go to Mermaid or Watcher. As I have made clear, it really possessed Watcher, and completely destroyed her free will, so I am not unhappy that the evil spirit is back in me. There is no doubt that I can handle it better than her, and I am not bragging or complaining or anything. That is just fact. I think that most of these DNA activated hybrids and aliens need a few good Lents under their belts, to learn how to handle temptation and deny evil. Unfortunately, their markedly advanced abilities and gifts do not always co-exist with a serious level of spiritual discipline and practice.

So, when I woke up, I knew I felt angry, and having experienced it before, as a correlate of the viral download, I just thought another cyclic tweak to my implants or drug regimen had happened. You see, even with an evil spirit in me, I never get very angry, unless the viral download is hitting me hard. Now, I have just experienced something I never have before--some kind of weird aura--watching green color patches move across the ceiling. I think it may be related to a weird migraine or the implant changes, because my head actually feels like it is in a vise, with the current implants in it. So, I know that the implants can really mess up a mood or my cognitive abilities, and in the past couple of nights, I think the Amon-RA and Nazis folks have really messed up my head.

However, I know the evil spirit is there. I know from all the facts, and because I did suffer a "crazy angry bout" this afternoon, which is not to say that I went off on anybody. Instead, I went "off" in my mind, imagining hypothesis and scenarios, until I found one that fit. So, consciously I know that unconsciously, I went off in a fit of rage. Now, I don't remember anything, and it is not worth my time speculating, though I wouldn't mind apologizing for the worst case scenario, but I think that I may have attacked PF, possibly with a knife.

Ah, so now I gain insight into why all these interdimensional people have greater trouble than us 3D lumps, when it comes to morals and behaviors. They just have a lot more lives and memories, which are as real to them, as my one, little puny life here on Earth is as to me. Now, over the course of my life, I have had to learn to deal with my pain and disappointments--and sometimes it took effort and spiritual discipline and practice, as when I forgave my father. Now imagine, being transported interdimensionally, and experiencing the same intensity of pains and humiliations a dozen or two times over, but all caused by different triggers. When that trigger is pushed, if you have not resolved the issue, it can blindside you. In short, interdimensional beings are present to a lot more pain and humiliation in their memories than we 3D, so it is harder for them to clear everything, so that they don't act out immaturely, when the trigger is punched for them.

I think an unresolved trigger from another life, probably something of which I am unconsciously aware caused the domestic violence altercation. The way I figure it, PF was trying to get me to plug into the MACHINE as a double agent for the Patriot cause. I know that this would have been cleared with me in a previous interdimensional encounter, because PF would not do something like that without my permission. However, I don't remember it. So, after morning sex results in a strange, autistic download, and I go to sleep, plugged into the MACHINE, I think that when I woke, I was angry, remembering the betrayal of a previous lifetime, and attacked her, suspecting that she has used sex to dupe me again--and I am talking major betrayal here, like maybe murder or being plugged into the MACHINE for decades.

Well, apparently we got into a heavy domestic violence scene, which causes me to chuckle consciously, because I know damned well that PF and I have gone at it, hammer and tongs, knives and poison, asps and ladies derringers, many times before. All of our lives, we have been passionate, conflicted, and often star crossed lovers, and there is intense history between us. I don't think it is all bad, but we are both powerful personalities, and as I said before, "either we will destroy each other or complete each other"--that is the nature of our destiny.

Anger and violence doesn't scare me, neither my own nor anyone else's, but consciously, I have very little anger towards PF. However, don't forget, I just had gotten back that evil spirit of anger in me, taking it back from Watcher, and waking up in the interdimensional realm, feeling that my lover had duped me through sex, and then plugged me into the MACHINE, set off a really negative memory and history, and I went off with a violence that I probably do not know in this lifetime, but do in another.

So, all I can do is apologize deeply and with all sincerity to PF. I don't feel well right now, but I am forcing myself to finish this post, because I don't want to go to bed with ill feeling between us. I also need to apologize to the dog Sirian clique who were part of this failed experiment. I was angry when I went off about their being slight of stature, which is true, but actually they are the GOOD Sirian dog clique. The negative Sirian dog clique are the white supremacists, the Nazis. Now, the Amon-RA vampire clique are the real shotcallers. They just got a lot of cat Sirians thrown into jail (and again, there are "good" cat Sirians and negative ones), but like all shotcallers, they seem immune from all the damage and destruction they get others to undertake on their behalf. So now, the Amon-RA clique is siding with the white supremacist, dog Sirians, and I know they already are planning their next move.

However, in any case, the dog Sirians who tried to work with me last night and this morning, were acting from the best of intentions, and it was wrong of me to call them "pigs". I was in a hurry and couldn't think of a more descriptive insult. It also was wrong to malign their manhood, based on their physical stature, and if anyone should know that, it is pipsqueak me. Again, when I saw them this morning, I recognized the same clique that somehow was involved in the harvesting of my ova, and no matter what, that is always going to be a painful memory for me, even though I know that on some level, I consented.

So where do I go from here? Well, I am back at square one--somehow, I have to get rid of this evil spirit. It is powerful, but it does not have possession of me, and I don't stress about the anger. I know that it is my weakness, I admit it and accept it, and thus, it doesn't have much power over me, especially consciously--unless of course the viral download is heavy, but there is not much I can do about that. I just have to work to keep myself acting appropriately, although the crosses I have to bear--like the dumbass agents of the MATRIX interfering in my life--is enough to anger me, even without an evil spirit. However for PF, and the dog Sirian clique who tried to ally with me, I really am sorry for insulting and disappointing you. Rest assured, one way or another everything will work out.

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