Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Would you like to see a picture of me?

Would you like to see a picture of me?


From my personality as revealed through my writing, can you guess which one is "me"?

Why the man, of course! As I have kept insisting for years, I am all man in a woman's body. I don't even really have a woman's body--just this obscenity that has been forced on me, and leaves me feeling more miserable and alienated than ever.

Actually, this man, "Scott Logan" is me, the exact parallel incarnation of me in another timeline--a timeline that leads to a positive future for the advanced human beings that we call the Pleiadians. This is who I was meant to be--the natural unfolding of my DNA, which would have allowed for optimal creative and social giftedness.

However, I was denied my own natural DNA development into the fullness of being, as an artistic, intellectual man, and instea had to spend years working to develop an acceptable female persona, and fighting off suspicions that I am mentally ill. It is hard when one is forced to live a lie, but that is what I did for most of my early life. In order to be "socially acceptable", I did everything I could to mask an appropriate feminine personality, while my underlying self, always knew that I was male. Now, the truth has set me free, from my own history of lies, but still I am imprisoned by a whole gang of people, all of whom have their own agenda for insisting that I be female for them.

I cannot. I could only maintain the lie, as long as I kept my brain and persona juvenile. As an adult, the energy drain upon me as a female is debilitating and hateful, not to mention that it makes me so autistic that I can barely function or socially relate. I keep saying this, yet I feel like my own sovereignty is at variance with the needs of the moment, where the Sirians are in tense crisis.

You see that massacre in Huala, Syria, was as much about factional fighting between Sirian cliques, as it was about the deaths of 100+ SYrian human citizens. Basically, the ruling party of Syria (the Alawites) is a MINORITY faction of "dog" Sirians, who are kept in power by the Tall Whites. The massacred come from a town which has the first syllable, "Hua". This phoneme is associated with both China and South American Indians. That is, they are "cat"Sirians, and Browns and Yellows, not Whites (note: more and more, I think "Browns" are a mixed race of Yellow and/or White and African Black). To really stir the pot, the cat Sirians have been oppressed and even enslaved by some of their Sirian brethren for millennia--they are the ones with the high psi ability, that the reptiles want. True Aryans, are a mix of this White Sirian (Celtic) race with the Yellow, and/or African Black race. This was why my family's bloodline was so highly prized--we were as thoroughly Aryan as you can get, that is to say, strong and definitive MIXED RACE BLOODLINES.

So for all the race and ethnic haters out there, take this as a lesson--mixed race, rather than purity and narrowness of race, is what creates an outpouring of both giftedness and strength, not to mention, enlarging the genetic pool. However, I cannot deny that the intensity of pain and hostility between the Sirian cliques are so ingrained, that the issues, grievances and conflicts must be handled gingerly. Look at how volatile dealing with racial issues are in the United States, and our history is barely 400 years old, with slavery for about 200 years of that. Well imagine, having to bear the onus of slave victimization or slaver guilt, for literally thousands of years, and you can see why the tensions are so hot. Of course, I see the good in all of the various Sirian factions, for I look at individuals, not ethnicity, when choosing to relate. However, since I am not Sirian, I cannot really contribute much to the current diplomatic dialogue, for it is not my heritage, except in the most tenuous of understanding.

Yet, I am deeply impacted by this Sirian conflict, as indeed all humans are. For, whether or not the fundamentalists of the world want to admit it, many good Sirians have been invaluable and essential allies to the Patriots of the world, using their psychic gifts and advanced technology to stop terrorist attacks, wars, and catastrophes. When the "good" Sirians become split by ancient ethnic rivalry, the "bad" Sirians take advantage and flourish. Also, this productive alliance among Sirians of different factions is necessary if the new planet, for them, is to be colonized. Otherwise, they will continue to bicker and fight amongst themselves here, and with their advanced weaponry and need for space, will eventually undermine the quality of life, and quantity of numbers, for Earth born humans.

I sympathize with all parties involved. I really do, and I am trying hard not to say anything that would escalate these tensions. However, I cannot help but believe that certain elements, especially within the White or dog Sirian community, are especially emphatic that I identify with their clique, NO MATTER WHAT MY OWN PERSONAL DESIRES AND PSYCHOLOGICAL NEEDS REQUIRE.

Look again, at "Scott Logan" (and by the way, that sweet girl who has her hand on his thigh, "Susan Ely" is probably PF). He definitely looks and is dressed like a working class young man of the 80's, but by 1989, he was already sophisticated enough in the occult, that he "died" to become a full time resident of the interdimensional realm (look at his hands). Now, there are a couple of other things you should know about "Scott". That treatise on Alchemy and how to turn lead to gold, actually was written by him--published in 2011. Now, I didn't know this, until I began to read it, and I said, "whoa, this is my writing, if I were a little less proficient in my writing style". Of course, Scott didn't spend his childhood and youth reading the canon of classical English literature. No, he was able to enjoy a more balanced, healthy and productive life, because he was in a body that corresponded to his own self-identity. Thus, I imagine he was much more sociable and in touch with his own creative side.

For in addition to his writing (there is at least one other treatise that I know of), he was a prolific artist. His brain was whole, not fragmented, and his body/psyche/self was unified, not fighting each other, and in constant anxiety over deep, elemental lies of personhood. In short, I would suspect that he led a much happier and more fulfilling and creative life than I have, and he completed his mission with much less suffering and turmoil.

However, Scott came from a different timeline, even though he IS me. You see, the success of Vosk in breaching our space/time integrity allowed for multiple timelines to develop. How timelines work, I do not know--I have tried to read on it, but have been warned away, probably because the material is loaded with mind control hooks, and I have suffered so much with forced hypnotic drugs in my sleep. Are they concurrent, or does one have to time travel--I don't know.

I do know that the KaBal has created a huge mess with multiple timelines and Patriot interdimensional forces have had to work to clean them up, so that the timeline that leads to a positive future for humanity remains intact (for that matter, do the Greys, or at least the multitude of them, come from one of these renegade timelines). Scott was born in a timeline not compromised by Vosk and the Amon-RA reptilians who did their experiment in Detroit. He was allowed to develop normally, and thus, he became a creative man, able to meet his interdimennsional destiny at a much earlier age--23 years and counting. From the interdimensional realm, he did his creative work to fight the KaBal, and no doubt, he did not spend years miserable and suffering on drugs, mental abuse and rape. No doubt he was able to do his work with support instead of interference.

However, such was not my fate. The reptiles deliberately aborted my natural development as a man, because they knew (from inappropriate looks into the future) that I was the one who could blow the 3D shackles of the MATRIX right off humanity. However, that wasn't their plan for humanity; rather their plan was to institute a new MATRIX, one that allowed for a changeover of slave holders, not freedom. To that end, they had to shackle me, and the gender identity and psychic undermining that occurred by denying me manhood, was their primary tool, for I will cannot attain the fullness of my gifts as long as I am in a woman's body, for the constant energy drain caused by the constant lie I feel forced to live, and the misery of being in this body (even now, I cannot bear my own smell from earlier, when the viral download caused me to be dripping wet down my thighs--and while I was in public, goddamned it!) is just too much. Ant then there is the autism--the female hormones are what make me autistic, and I will never be whole until they are diminished, so that my brain can get the metabolic fuel that it requires--MAN-SIZED TESTOSTERONE!

I spend a couple of hours a day every day, trying to break the interdimensional barrier, just as I have engaged in meditation for much of my life, but I know that I am very developmentally delayed. It should have happened back in 1989, but here I am, struggling so hard, feeling in my own body, the energetic blockages caused by the mutilations of my body. Not only that, but if the brain does not get enough fuel, which it is not, how the hell is it ever going to hit the accelerator? So take a good look at Scott--he is me, and understand that if I do not get some support in being the man/male which was God's purpose for me, and my destiny, I cannot guarantee that I can break the interdimensional barrier at all--and the future of all humanoid beings is threatened. Going to go for a bike ride now, with my hurting, mutilated back, and no doubt all these pretty girls running as fast as they can, totally oblicious to the fact that ZI am so autistic that I dont pay attention to the world around me much, but with all the fucking drugs in my system (and what have i got in me now?), i have to try to keep weight down, and I no longer can even walk up and down the alley...

PS--I know i am on excessive female hormones again, because not only i am in a cranky, irritble autistic mood, but I CAN'T PEE. I don't have enough testosterone to stream out my urine, and especially now that i dont have a clitoral woody, which even the goddamned reptiles left me.

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