Back in prison. sucks. today i saw an agent in Matrix, so obviously they have got me by the short hairs too. however i think the real bugabear is amon-RA. yesterday eve all of a sudden, brain frequency changed. new it immediately. because i was listening to music and all of sudden became severely depressed. i am joyful when listening to muic. except when THE FUCKING GODDMANED AMONRA/VATICAN/JESUTI PIGS ARE IN MY BRAIN AND THEN I BECOME SEVERELY DEPRESSED. been derpressed since yesterday aft. thought at first it might be because im not talking much with PF. appraently we decided to cool things off. Mermaid very sick, physically and mentally, and is insanely jealous of me. i am okay with cooling it off, as long as she stays by me, not one else i trust in my brain. and people have been in my brain. all day. something going on.
i ask myself why the fuck does goddamned amon-ra keep gaining access to my brain? i hate the sons of bitches and i hate everything they stand for. all i can figure is that someohiw i have ulterior motive. aint gonna lie. you sons of bitches will never claim me, nor your sick, pathetic religiouus freaks who have ruined and destroyed my legacy form another lifetiem. so you can do you damnedest to flip me, but by God, whatever it is i am suffering through this hell shit for, i am gonna do. just being fair. just being honest. not like you lying sons of bitches, deceiving piece of shit motherfuckers with your goddamned occult lies and deceit that come from satan.
like what you placed in my mattress that has me nearly eloctrurected at nite. or how you leave cigarettes behind to tell me that you put your goddamned em strips outside my window, after i dug them all up. or the nail in my mailbox when the amon-ra devotee mailman, delivered the messed up crystal ncklace. i don' t need your goddamned little backhand tokens of good faith, while i know you already have stacked the deck. i know when amon-ra is in my head. if ell like shit. i can feel the pain in my forehead, the band tightening around. i can also feel where you cut on me all nite long.
so what the fuck am i going through this for? Rome. I dont care about the vatican, it could implode to hell as far as i m concerned. i do care abut peole, roman citizens. innocents. i know that when i made that comment about rome yesterday that it was honest and real concern. big question, though---where are the reptiles who are the vatican's patrons, the ones chained underneath the papal residence for centuries. well, i don't have such good removete viewing sckills, so i didn't find them, but i think they found me. last nite while walking, i saw the black cat--sentient being--cat sirian who is a hater. probably the one stirring up cat sirian resentment to hate their Sirian kin. normally i hiss at him when i see him, but i had just written abut cat sirians and was thinking on how much they have suffered (my sister's children are identified with cat sirian clique), and so i only gave a half-hearted hiss. big mistake, letting soft heart getting better of my head. for as i walk bak down the alley, i could smell the sulpher coming from black cat's home--or at least from behind the fence he always crawls under when i run him off. sulphur is reptiles, satanic reptils. Please understand that cat Sirians, some of you are following a leader who is hobnobbing with reptiles, and no matter what they say, they want YOU--and your high psi abiliites. dont let yourselves be fooled into thinking you finally are going to get revenge. youre not. you are going to get stung.
im in terrible pain. crappy day. would rather be dead than alive right now. probably drugged because only emotion i feel is anger. severely autistic--too autistic to talk to anyone or process info. all can do is nothing. no reading, no tv. bumping into walls. need testsoeterne. need to sleep. wish this hell was over