Friday, May 4, 2012
Update on my previous post
Update on my previous post--it is official. I am on lithium, in addtion to the heavy female hormones shoved down my throat. The old, faithful "alcohol test" proved it. I am more responsive and alert to reality with three stiff shots of whiskey in me, than sober. As a matter of fact, I am downright catatonic, which again is how the KaBal likes me--I am so suggestible and programmable in that state. I was this way yestereday too, and woke up with a severely stiff neck from the catatonia. The state I am in is not one of emotional moderation, but severe emotional repression. I feel nothing at all--man, woman, how about getting on all fours and barking or meowing. Of course i dont have the energy to get down on all fours, but i can do it sitting down, and no doubt this is precisely the way the reptiles on the Moon like me--so fucking drugged that I have no sense of self or ego identity whatsoever. no wonder i have been walking around for the past two days with brain tumor syndrome--way too much fluid on brain. no emotional responsiveness whatsoever, except emotional immaturity. i was giggling earlier--i never giggle, except when im hysterical. fucking drugs really doing a number on me, but i will stay resolute--just very hard to be catatonic and emotionless, feelike shit.