Sunday, May 13, 2012

Stupidass KaBalists, and their goddamned games

Stupidass KaBalists, and their goddamned games--they have just come to my house, and sprayed the perimeter with a bunch of shit, which has made me high as a kite with viral download, and the thing is that I think my own emotional state may have caused it.

Part of the bullshit of being in a Faction 2 created MATRIX, is having to read through all the disinfo bullshit they throw out on the MSM websites. Now, whether they know it or not, I can usually tell what is their fraking lies and bullshit, but I read it anyway, because I use their own goddamned disinfo to scoop them, and I could give examples, but now is not the time.

However, I had an intense emotional response to one web story--about a Mother's Day program to unite kids with their mothers in visits. Now, UNDERSTAND THIS MOTHERFUCKERS, with your goddamned stupidass understanding of human reality and emotions. I was not moved to tears on account of the sense that I am in the prison of the MATRIX, or that the mother of my children is imprisoned by your abusive controlling mechanisms. No, I was moved because I spent five years as a COUNSELOR in a prison, in which I had to group and counsel young men, who often suffered great emotional pain because of their family separation. I know the healing power of the family unit to a prisoner, and I think it deplorable that the American penal system makes it so hard for them to connect (all the while cognizant of the sophisticated muling that goes on in these visits as well). I also spent six months in a jail--a jail you stupidass motherfuckers threw me in, and since I was in a dorm setting, I could not help but feel the anguish of multiple young mothers, as they faced long term incarceration. Nearly all of them were not concerned about themselves or doing time; nearly all were in heart-wrenching agony over not seeing their children grown up. I especially remember (because it illustrates my point that racism is more of a male vice than a female or vice) a young Black woman who came back to the unit after sentencing. She had hoped the judge would be lenient, but he gave her the max, and as soon as she got back to the pod, she went emotionally hysterically, breaking down on the floor, wailing, "Seven years....I am not going to see my baby grow up". Every White and Hispanic woman in the vicinity immediately rushed to comfort and console her, putting arms around her (that would never happen in a male pod, where racial separation is critically enforced), and as I watched it, I realized that every woman there, knew and felt the agony of the Black woman.

So you see, motherfuckers, because you are such selfish pricks, you think everything refers backs to one's personal emotional needs, and in evil or merely selfish and narcissistic people, it does. But for those of us who are spiritually healthy, sometimes we feel emotional pain and empathy, because we empathize with what OTHERS are feeling, and having spent so much time in jails, I know what incarcerated mothers today are feeling. I don't think about it much, but on a day like today, it is appropriate that I remember and honor their pain and grief, and for the lucky ones, the joy of seeing their children. Because I don't often SHOW feeling, people think I don't experience it; that is a huge mistake, but one that the KaBal will keep on making, since they have no deep feeling themselves.

But it is my feeling for others, even those who have not been there for me, which drives me to fight and resist the interdimensional evil that has dominated and abused my home world for so long. It also gives me strength. Yes, I may be in the prison of the MATRIX, but I don't feel sad about that. It is just the life I agreed to live, so that I COULD LEARN HOW TO BUST THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, AND FREE ALL THE CAPTIVES ALONG WITH ME!!

In the meantime, from the MATRIX, happy MOther's day to all the loving mothers out there. Part of the reason, I am imprisoned today, is because of a promise I gave to a wonderful, loving mother, so love your children, because that love will generate blessings for them in perpetuity. I especially want to thank the woman, PF, who carries and blesses my love, not only for my children, but also for the world, for being such a wonderful mother. I could not do what I do, if she were not there for me and our children. XOXO

No comments: