Further deleterious effects from the excess female hormones

Further deleterious effects from the excess female hormones--I am developing a serious acne problem, with rosacea and tiny infected pimples. I also am suffering from severe autism again. I know, because when I am autistic, I don't look at or "see" people's faces. When I went to return a bag of groceries that the cashier had mistakenly given me, I was asked for her description, and realized that I had never looked at her face or eyes during the entire transaction! For years, I thought that puberty kicked off the development of an ego, which gave me the energy to pull out of my autistic, imaginative absorption. However, I now think that it was actually the release of the testosterone hormone, which gave me the ability to pull out of a non-functional, severely isolated autism, into a merely neurotic but functional autism. I can't say it enough--I need large amounts of testosterone, and small amounts of female hormones to function. It is not as if the excessive female hormones have any benefits whatsoever. I spent all day, dragging, forcing myself to get up the energy to do even routine tasks, and literally could not even watch the afternoon news.

On top of everything, I have been trying to figure out if I am in imminent danger. Sooner or later, the cabal is going to write me off, and when that happens, my life, which is an interesting experiment to them now, will become completely WORTHLESS. I understand the message that is being sent to me, but I have to get the go ahead from my inner voice/God. I don't think that I am hopelessly depressed or suicidal, or stubbornly proud, but there are a host of factors to consider. After years of soldiering on alone, without substantial support or assistance of any kind, this drugged hell has become my status quo, and as much as I hate it, I have learned to function in it. I know that the end game is approaching, and it is important that I be healthy enough to vitally participate, and so the question I will be asking myself in the next couple of days is how best I can participate. I am used to my laborious process of discernment. I really don't like change of my status quo, and I will chew on something for days, trying to determine whether or not to move, or get a new job, and then, BAM, in an instant, the inner voice will come through, and everything will be clear. When that go ahead comes, THEN I can move decisively and clearly. Until then, I go through my obsessive and repetitive thinking loops, over and over again, waiting for that moment of clarity, but I have learned to trust that it will come. In the meantime, I have to be faithful in the little things--keeping my house clean, doing whatever exercise I can, praying and reading scripture, and keeping my nose to a grindstone of probing evil and the occult, of which I am SICK AND TIRED. But, with a little bit of help and subtle guidance, perhaps I can direct my attention to fruitful endeavors while I wait for the grace of holy illumination.
Nothing for it right now but to be patient, wait and see. My inner antennae are all moving and scanning, straining to hear that inner voice. For those who love and worry about me, I understand your feelings, but remember without my faith in God and His Providence, I would never have survived as long as I have. I always respond to the nudging of grace and direction, and quite quickly, when I get the clear call, so this is a process I trust and with which I am quite familiar. So I am comfortable with the spiritual process, even as much as I hate my physical and drugged, psychological state, but it is Lent, a time of suffering and waiting for grace and God to triumph.