Immediate correction: I am not feeling better. Instead, what is happening is the same thing as yesterday. I feel worse as the day goes on. The virus is completely kicking my ass, making it nearly impossible to function in reality. It is as if I have lost my spark plug, my joy, my life. In a way, I have. I think the motherfuckers have rewired me so that the female hormones are paramount in my body, but that is not the way I was designed, nor to what I respond. It just makes me sluggish, miserable, low energy, and hating life to the point of autistic withdrawal and isolation. Fucking long for the days when I felt human.
On top of feeling like goddamned shit all the time, I have problems with the implants in my left hand. It is discolored and painful--the implants are messing with my nerves and circulation in my entire left arm. I don't know how much longer I can survive with all this shit. One thing for sure, I can't imagine living my life feeling like a miserable lump of lifeless fat flesh for the rest of my life. I need energy, zest, joy, drive. Doesn't matter. My life is in the hands of God, and I know that the aliens who mutilate my body and completely change my hormonal system to suit their needs, are not emissaries of God.
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