There's a circling orb hovering in the sky

There's a circling orb hovering in the sky above my house. I think it is an evil spirit looking to pounce. I saw them (there were three or four) once before in a couple of week stretch when I was a young woman after my conversion experience. This time there is just one. I think I have gotten rid of all the evil spirits except for one--the evil spirit of deception. That is the luciferian voice that attempts to delude me--this is why I constantly have the obsessive compulsive voice in me, telling me "be a nun" or "see you should have been a nun" when it is clear I have no such vocation whatsoever. It is also the voice that has led me to contacts in the religious community which have turned me over to really sick and evil people.

I am not in a good state right now. Between the heavy viral downloads and psychotropic drugs, I am barely in reality. Because the female hormones I am being force fed cause such excessive saliva and mucous in my mouth, I looked it up on the web last night and found that I probably am undermethylated--a common symptom among autistics. What is the first line of attack--why SSRI's of course. I knew at the time that the motherfuckers were going to force SSRI's on me, and that is what I think has me so depressed that I am suicidal and spend much of the day just crying and longing for death. SSRI's are not the answer you dumbass idiotic morons, but I no longer appeal to your intelligence or your compassion or sense of ethic. I know that you do not care what damage you do to my body or psyche, so long as you can enslave me to your agenda. But I know that the real reason my brain is moving along is because of the extremely high doses of testostorone that I have been taking, and I have decided to quit taking it, except when I am about to enter the semi-psychotic state that your psychotropic chemicals and implants put me in. I am in a lose situation, for without the testosterone, I can barely function and gain massive amounts of weight, but my life is so fucking miserable and not worth living, what the fucking hell...I have to be careful. I recognize that I was in a situation very similar to John Wheeler today, and I know his fate...death does not faze me, but I prefer to go out on my terms, not the terms and timeline set by truly evil beings.