severely autistic

severely autistic--brain literally shutting down into a near coma. inner voice told me to take testosterone. had to force first two between teeth, couldnt open mouth. inner voice told me to take two more. losing vicious cycel. every time i take testosterone, the fucking pigs got my brain wired to release more estrogen. but brain and body cannot live, cannot function without its requisite need for its innate need for man sized testotoren. i am a man you fucking assholes, and you will kill me in your stupidass, small brained insistence on making me a woman. i used to be happy and proud to present myself as a woman. even though i knew deep inside i wasnt one. ccongratulations, you fucking assholes, you have made me despise my female body with a vehenemnce that i did not think possible. cant deal with that now. just trying to stay alive. shoulder hurst to much to type more. at least i can open my eyes after four testosteroe.