I am feeling better, after ingesting

I am feeling better, after ingesting some proffered "medicine". I still don't feel great, but I am not so autistic that I a cannot bear reality. For me, feeling decent means being between 40-65% of normal, that is 40-65% of energy level, well-being, vitality, productivity. I know that I can write cogent and lengthy posts, but often that is the only real work I do all day. I try to research and read a little bit, but again, I am at about 40% of my abilitity to focus and concentrate. Why? Because the same interdimensional aliens who were responsible for administering the medicine, will not allow me to have access to the testosterone I need. You see, all of this advanced DNA activation requires fuel, but for me, with my XYY genetic makeup, I need a man-sized testosterone, which would certainly result in noticeable secondary gender changes. I don't care. It is worth feeling healthy to me, instead of dragging through life, and being sick, miserable, ill-tempered, and autistic all the time. However the alien powers that be have decided that since I have lived in a female body, it is up to me to ascend in one. BULLSHIT! Nobody asked for my opinion or consent, before they started making the brain changes which has left me sick and starved for man-sized dosages of testosterone.

I kept my own hermaphroditic hormonal balance under control by maintaining a juvenile metabolism, and I did that for over 40 years, quite instinctively, in synch with my own unconscious need for optimal health. It was the same aliens who deny me testosterone now, who created the need I have now for a massive increase in testosterone dosage, through their damned implants and cranial changes. Secondly, this is most definitely NOT the female body that God gave me. God gave me a body I was comfortable in and proud of, a hermaphroditic body, not a female body. So, once again, the occult aliens and their minions, pat themselves on the back about with the self-serving lies that they have been telling themselves and feeding humanity for millennia.

I for one, am not buying it any more. At this point, I would recommend the reader to read this following article, especially those who are traditionally self-identified as Christian. It is the pithiest and clearest explanation of the metaphysics and spirituality of what is going on in our world:

http://www.rumormillnews.com/cgi-bin/forum.cgi?read=236645

Did you notice the part about the "sun gods" controlling humanity. Whenever I use the word, "RA" as in "MACHINE-RA" or "Amon-RA", I am referring to these factions of aliens who "need to see the sun reflected back to them through our own eye lens". In other words, we are slaves; however not all slavery is created equal. Some suffer from this occult alien slavery more than others.

Take me, for instance--the last few years of my life has been sheer hell--with druggings, incarceration, nightly abductions, rape, bodily mutilations, forced brain changes, and now the denial to me of the hormone that my "new" brain craves and is starved for. However, at least I know what it is to be free. Some slaves of this alien KaBal and factions, have never been free a day in their lives. I am speaking specifically of the alien/human hybrid children controlled from their petri dish conception to their adult lives. This includes PF, my genetic children, my nieces and nephews of my dead sister, and many, many more--slavery has been a thriving business on Mars for nearly a century now. These denigrated souls are denied the freedom to choose their own self identity or self choices, though a lucky handful might be tapped to be rich and famous, or a celebrity. More of them are chosen to be sex slaves to service the reptiles, with whom these occult aliens have an uneasy truce--the terms of which entails the submission of sex slaves. Yeh, really spiritually advanced--these aliens, ha ha... My kids were luckier than most, because PF was one of their adoptive human mothers, and she had learned, after years of degrading sex slavery on Earth, how to separate and compartmentalize her soul from her bodily responses. I am certain that she imparted this information, which is crucial to the soul survival of a sex slave; otherwise the horror and brutality of a reptile-human sex encounter will likely shatter the soul.

Now, do I have some "magic gene" that enables me to understand the appalling dehumanization which such mind control slavery would wreak on a spiritual soul? I don't think so. I do have imagination, from having entered into the lives of so many suffering souls in my youth when I read countless novels and biographies. Maybe I should write a novel, or at least a short story--fiction seems to be a better medium for evoking empathy, but I fear that my words could never do justice to the full tragedy and traumatic magnitude of the slavery and hopelessness which so many of these Martian born humans have experienced. For despite the richness and depth of my imagination, I am constantly learning more, and weeping always, never failing to be astounded at the unbelievable depth of evil and depravity into which these alien/human hybrids are born. So, all you alien/human hybrids who are suffering in emotional pain out there, and I know that is most of you, put your experience into written words, so others can know your stories. Trust me, people are going to have a hard time believing it, so the more corroboration and detail, the better. If you can get the material to me, great--then I might be more confident in presuming to write about a reality I have only experienced through love of others. Otherwise, stash it and hide it, for freedom is coming, and when it does, disclosure is not going to be just about the alien presence on this planet. Disclosure is also going to reveal the hidden misery and slavery to which certain factions of alien have forced on generations of humanity.

I think that you will find the very act of writing about your experiences and pain liberating. To be most potent, try to interweave your own emotional response to actual physical experiences, but whatever you can do is fine. Maybe some of you have shut off your emotions, and can only detail a matter of fact bio. Maybe others are too awash in soul suffering to get past your emotional subjectivity, and can only write out your pain without reference to what causes it--I know this is true for at least some of you, because I have read the poetry of a couple of you. It is all good. Just remember, when you write, to assume that your reader knows nothing. In other words, I know most of you all have survived through peer support, and that you all share the same assumptions about life. So, you will have to work a little harder to imagine an audience that knows NOTHING, about the Martian mind control and genetic manipulation program. If you read this blog, you may wonder sometimes, why I spend time reiterating the same information in step by step detail, which I have already presented. It is because I always have an imaginary reader in mind, who is tuning in for the first time. It is extra work, but it aids tremendously in clarifying your presentation.

If nothing else, I think you will find the act of writing your stories very healing. I know that I do--even if all I do is hit the caps lock and pound out a string of misspelled obscenities. However, I implore you to start writing NOW, because your liberation is very close at hand, and when you finally are free, my guess is that you are going to find a lot more demands made on your time, as you struggle to integrate into conventional society. So be ready, because I guarantee you that freedom, whether by peaceful integration, or violent cataclysm, is coming before this year is out.

As for me, it is going to be coming even sooner. Now, this whole post was inspired by my son, Sean, who is a hybrid slave, born of the ova stolen from me while I lay under anesthesia. And you know, for the record, it really pisses me off, when I read the Faction 2 boy posse putting in manufactured stories in the MATRIX MSM about chants of "Where's your green card?". I know that hateful slur is directed towards those of you born on Martian, rather than Earth soil. Well, guess what, dammit, my genetic children come from an American mother, and they are AMERICANS. As a matter of fact, they can put on their birth certificate, the town I live in now, because really that is where their conception process began. My sister was an American mother, and her children are AMERICANS. Now, I don't think Sean knew that I recognized him as one of my genetic children, because he was a tall, strapping white boy, with blue eyes. However, when you are raised in a real family environment with multiple cousins, you become attuned to the whole slate of appearances present within even a limited gene pool.

I could tell by the little that I saw of him that he was struggling to attain and assert his manhood, which is normal for a young man his age, because as I have said before, manhood is not conferred, it is earned. However, I could also sense an interior depression crushing his soul, which was troubling, because he has a good soul. Having worked with hundreds of young men in my career, I could tell that a deep wound had sucked out what should have been a masculine self-confidence to "own his own self", and find his place in the world. There is the rub of course, since, as a hybrid slave, controlled from birth, he has never owned his own self, and never was free to choose a self-identity in the world. So he was handicapped, but at least he TRIED to be free, and as I always say, the only way to attain manhood, is to start acting like a man. In my book, Sean's attempt to break free of the KaBal by running away from their jurisdiction, was a huge step towards manhood.

Now, I am not saying that this would work for everybody, since everybody's situation is different. However, from the little I knew and sensed of his honest pain (which he never threw out on another in anger), I think this was an authentic step for him to take. Unfortunately, his bid for freedom has ended, and he has been incarcerated, and guess what? That will be an ongoing education in manhood, too. It runs in the family--not only from his freedom loving father (me), or his freedom-striving, adoptive mother (PF), but also through the ancient, hoary lineage of freedom lovers all across this globe and down through the centuries. I know that they will try to turn him into a good little "hybrid boy" with mind control and implants, and it will test his fledgling manhood to resist. Don't worry son, they have been trying to force me to be a "good little girl for years now". FIGHT LIKE HELL! FIGHT LIKE THE MAN YOU ARE BECOMING! However, be smart in how you fight--it does not good to exhaust yourself when the power odds weigh heavily against you. In that case, it is best that you fight to keep your interior freedom, while outwardly, you give the minimal compliance necessary to keep from worsening your situation. But know this, and the KaBal needs to know this too--if my son is tortured, and I hear his cries coming to me, through my unconscious, I am going after him, and I guarantee you, I will be on a mission. I know that the "medicine" I just took has hampered my psychic abilities, and probably my interdimensional travelling abilities, but never underestimate the power of LOVE to break through any negative energy bond placed upon me.

As for me, at this point, I manifest my manhood, by patiently suffering the regular controls, injustices and abuses which the KaBal has been throwing my way for years now. Initially, it was because I did not know what was happening to me, and I had to get a rudimentary education before acting. Then, I became preoccupied with trying to help save my country from all the KaBal attacks that my new found education, enabled me to perceive. Finally, at this point, I am just holding out for a moderate process of change to end this slavery, not the violent cataclysm, which BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THE KABAL IS ACTUALLY ANGLING FOR!

I would like to think that the corruption in at least some of the aliens (Sirians) is reversible, as it is a result of Greys and Tall Whites doing brain switches. I have had dreams in which I cooperate with at least one faction of Sirians in the future--and it is NOT the Italians. So I hope for reconciliation between humans and at least some Sirians. For a long time, I have allowed myself to be used as a bargaining chip, so that the Patriots could maintain some control over humanity's future in the various countries of the planet, instead of allowing the KaBal to return to their tried and true, but thoroughly corrupted puppets. I know that there are many Patriots who have a viable conception of the future, and the part that I might play in that, and I am fine with that. HOWEVER, MY PATIENCE IS NOT INFINITE.

My worst fear is that I will be like Moses of the Exodus--he keeps going back to Pharaoh, and asking that his people be allowed to go, and Pharaoh keeps promising, and then reneging. Pharaoh, in this case, would be the occult alien factional powers, who are able to keep the Patriots in check, because of threat of technological attack (earthquakes, tornadoes, pole flip, ect). Now my guess is that, these same occult slavers are the ones who insist that I be a female "Jesus" or "da Vinci" (do you know why he wrote backwards--he was writing from the interdimensional realm), that they can use to keep the RA (sun gods) cult and human slavery going on for another 10,000 years. Well, that is not going to happen. However, I am well aware that the Exodus was a time of destruction for not only Egypt, but the world, and that it took 40 years of trial in the desert, before the people were even ready to enter the Promised Land, because they were spiritually unprepared. Then, the land of Israel and the entire Middle East, became a brutal battlefield of endless bloody wars, which left the region scarred by hatreds, tensions, and vendettas that exist to this day.

More than anything else, I fear that a violent cataclysm, even if it seems natural, would result in generations of trauma and violence among the population. HOWEVER, MY PATIENCE IS NOT INFINITE. I know that I am working through a lot of psychological issues, and I am doing my best to accommodate the needs of the Patriots, but soon, by early summer, either my life changes drastically, and I get back a modicum of freedom of self and freedom of choice, or I will take whatever steps I need to do, in order to attain it. PHARAOH BE DAMNED!!!

There is no mystery involved. I have said for months now, that I feel called to be a Black man. I certainly can no longer be happy, fulfilled or productive as a lesbian woman--the brain changes have made that impossible. I want to assist in the regeneration of the Black race, left bereft by the loss of Osiris, and centuries of Elohim (White) Sirian exploitation, and the imperialism they fostered on Africa. I am not a hater, nor a radical. I carry all the genes of the human race in my body, and I don't want to see ANY branch of the human family claim superiority over another. However, there is a deep sense in me that to "fulfill all righteousness", that my new, upgraded body should be that of a Black man, and that desire comes from ME, and not from any faction, neither alien nor human, not even the Blacks themselves. If nothing else, everybody reading this post should know by now, that I am my own man. I call it like I see it. I gather information, listen to all perspectives, and make my decision. Well, it's made, and has been made for some time. Unfortunately, I suffer from a very unintegrated and immature unconscious, which is hindering immediate realization of this goal, but I know when the time is right.

In the meantime, I will try to maintain--not only the constant abductions and abuses by the KaBal, which I anticipate will continue, but also the personal pain of being separated from PF and my children. The worse part of it is the sense that I am not living up to my responsibilities as a husband (though I guess our interdimensional marriage was annulled yet again), and a father. It is difficult not being able to give and get support as a loving couple do--not to mention when the mother is struggling to raise a dozen kids on her own). So, if I or PF gets a little weirded out, I would wish for respect and consideration. Both of us has done so much to literally help save this country, and have received so little in return. We both are idealists rather than materialists, and we both see ourselves as servants for the public good, so it is not money or recognition we want--just regard. I know that I personally don't care what anyone thinks of me, but believe me, if anyone disrespects PF, I will know about it and remember it. On the other hand, after the sex slave status that PF endured for the first 35 years of her life, I don't think she is so concerned about what others think of her, but I know her heart is taxed to action on both my behalf, and those genetic hybrid slaves that she knows have experienced the same dregs of slavery as she has. She has a much bigger heart than me, and I do not want to see it abused or ridiculed, because it will only make mine shrink back in fear of being treated the same way, and I am working so hard to make it bigger.

You know, in the post I wrote a few days earlier, when I "ran from the hospital", the woman alien, who undermined my best interest and showed me the "Italian room", told me that they were going to "auction off" my easy chair to the "highest bidder". LOL. You know how I interpret that? According to the dream dictionary, a chair represents getting advice, thinking things through". Now, probably the only person acting in an advisory capacity to me right now is PF. I trust her suggestions and opinions, all of which are based on love, a whole lot more than I would to someone who pays for the capacity to advise me. She may occasionally make a bad decision, such as when she brought in "Charles" to help boost me to ascend, and he drove a deep Amon RA pain into my head, but I don't believe that an act motivated by true love can deeply harm me ( a weaker person, maybe, but not me). Today, I ended up plugged into the MACHINE, and while I appreciated the medicine, I think I could have gotten out on my own. What I really was grateful for, though, was the opportunity to be present at the interdimensional birth of our child, and I am so very glad that PF brought me along. There is not much that gives me joy, but that did, and I need all the joy I can get.

She also attempted to free me from this Virtual Reality Matrix that I am in, and I appreciate that. When I made the request though, I did not realize that it would undermine all these political deals and negotiations. I am not a racist or Machiavellian. I just relate to people as individuals. However, after all the blowback that I see that she got from her attempt to free me, I realize that I am bound by commitments, even if I didn't recognize them consciously. I will honor those commitments, but MY PATIENCE IS NOT INFINITE, and speaking of that, if I am right, and some spokesman referred to her as a "prostitute", MY PATIENCE IS ALREADY ENDED. It is painful enough that she had to spend most of her life as a sex slave, completely controlled in every movement and aspect of her life; it is daunting enough that she had to struggle for years, to try to get a little bit more freedom than the year before she finally broke free; it is humiliating enough that with all she has given and done, she still is completely controlled by the alien occult. The woman is a courageous and brilliant lady, and she deserves a little respect--as do all those who came to her assistance and rescue today. If you want to call anybody a "prostitute", call me one. I am the one responsible for the rescue attempt today, although really, this whole messed up situation, where binding commitments are made in my unconscious, that I have no memory of in my conscious is responsible, but I don't blame or disrespect anybody. I made a mistake. I try to clarify it, and I move on.

Moving on...