Tuesday, April 24, 2012

I have eight pages of handwritten notes to finish up

I have eight pages of handwritten notes to finish up my last post. However, that needs to wait, because I have woken up from a nap in excruciating pain. My arms are more like penguin flippers now, and they cannot pronate forward comfortably AT ALL, so that sitting here, typing with my hands extended forward is painful. It would feel more natural, and does, if my arms were pronated behind my back, which would be fine if my head faced backwards. There is no way that the arms can carry themselves naturally at all. However, the important realization that hit me, while surfing the web a moment again, was when I saw a close up of a cut up chicken, and I remember how an uncut chicken overwhelmed me with nausea when I was stoned one night on weed. Because what I saw was a headless baby, and believe it or not, it was the thought of an uncut chicken that continually motivated me to vegetarianism, because every time I thought of one, I saw a dead, headless baby.

I am thinking that this chicken is reminding me of a dead baby, whose head was cut off in a satanic ritual. Insofar, as I am responsible for directing the mutilation of my body in the interdimensional realm, I think it is because this traumatic childhood memory is causing me to identify with the murdered baby. That is the way a child's mind works, and especially a child with a sensitive soul--they identify with the pain and suffering of another. The amazing thing to me is that it is only the negative KaBal which acts on these traumatic memories parlayed into childish, interdimensional directives. The Patriots, the good guys, seem to know and act on what is really good for me, while the evil aliens and their minions take advantage of every satanic trauma I have stored deep in my unconsciousness.

I hope that I can lay this baby to rest, because honest-to-God, the pain in my shoulders and discomfort in my arms is currently unbearable, even at rest. I also have been sick all day. I know that it is a combination of low thyroid--because my guts are all messed up, and low testosterone, because I have no energy, as well as nausea caused by all food being contaminated with whatever the fucking Jesuits put in my food. The heat has really started, and even with cooled air, my body is overheating majorly. I try to hold on, but I cannot live with this pain in my shoulders and upper back caused by the unnatrual state of my arms.

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